First an update: It seems that August is a non-starter for the publishing world, people on vacations and so forth, so my agent and I agreed to ease back on pitching The Undoing of Holly Bea until September when everyone is back in the office. Meanwhile I'm still working on several other projects – as well as a big new one that I can't really announce yet, but stay tuned – and I've almost finished writing my craft book Write Deep, Believable Characters.
Which brings me to the topic of the day. While researching personality for my character book, I read Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. (You'd probably enjoy her TED talk, if you haven't seen it yet.) As the title suggests, it's a study of introversion and extroversion (or as the researchers spell it, extraversion). Most of Quiet simply provided background for me, since I focus on a different model in my book. I won't use even half of what I learned, but because it was so interesting, I thought I'd share it with you.
Actually I confess that Cain's research fascinates me not only because of the book I'm writing but also because on a Meyers-Briggs type inventory, I scored over 70% introvert. And, yes, it seems to me that I live in a world that can't stop talking (which turns out to be about two-thirds of the world). According to research, one-third to one-half of our population is made of introverts. But some of us cover so well that you wouldn't know it, because we've learned to put on extroverted traits when we need to. According to Free Trait Theory, "we can act out of character in service of core personal projects."
Anyway, you know the basics: introverts prefer to have only a few close friends and draw their energy from solitude. Extroverts choose to have lots of friends and draw their energy from being with people – which is exactly what drains introverts.
So far that's nothing new. Enter Dr. Elaine Aron, a research psychologist. Aron studies a trait she calls "sensitivity." Most highly sensitive people are introverts, but some are extroverts. So this trait is a bit different, and I discovered I have it. Maybe you do too.
1. Sensitives are easily overwhelmed by stimulation, both social and sensory. People may call them thin-skinned, but that may be literally true. It seems that the skin of sensitives is really "thinner" and more sensitive to stimuli.
2. Sensitives are keen observers who look before they leap.
3. Sensitives don't like to be observed or judged and tend to do worse under the microscope.
4. Sensitives tend to be philosophical or spiritual in their orientation.
5. Sensitives dislike small talk, because they think in more complicated ways.
6. Sensitives love music, nature, art, and physical beauty.
7. Sensitives feel exceptionally strong emotions.
8. Sensitives process information unusually deeply.
9. Sensitives are highly empathic. It seems that there are thinner boundaries separating them from other people's emotions, so they have unusually strong consciences. They often avoid violent movies and TV shows.
10. Sensitives listen carefully, respond thoughtfully, and speak softly.
I knew I was an introvert, but I had never heard of "sensitives." Now I know why I rarely listen to music. It's not that I don't like music. On the contrary, I love music. But it hits me so deep, I have one of two reactions: dance or cry. And I don't care to do either one in the presence of other people.
And listen to this one: If there's a party, a sensitive would much rather be a host than a guest. I didn't even have to read an explanation. I know it's because as a facilitator of the group, we can be part of it, but we don't have to be in the guest spotlight. We can enjoy the party by listening and observing from the edge, chiming in only when we have something to say (which will not likely be small talk, see #5 above).
My guess is that if you follow this blog, you may be an introvert. So are you a sensitive, too? Or maybe you're a sensitive extrovert. Either way, it's good to know we're normal – if there is such a thing. Oh, and we're inclusive here: extroverts are welcome too.
Your life is a story with a beginning, a middle, an end, and an echo, maybe a quiet one, but it will be significant.
