Some things will never be the same. Peanuts. In the shell. Rockies Baseball at Coors Field. Daddy wasn’t there to share them with me. I don’t think I will ever eat peanuts again and not miss my daddy deeply.
I want to thank each of you for your love and prayers and words of encouragement that you sent my way for our family and my mama after my daddy died this past June. I love you all in Christ so much. You are my brothers and sisters and we are the body of Christ. You mourned with me when I mourned. I promise you, your prayers were felt deeply in my heart. I had strength and patience and peace.
I gave the eulogy at daddy’s rosary. I knew I would be the one to do this – I’ve known in my heart for years. God blessed me by letting my words flow out of my heart about my dad and about Jesus’ forgiveness and unconditional love. Mariah and I sang, “Bless the Lord” to close the service out. Through your prayers I was blessed with grace and strength to glorify God in front of dear family friends as well as a whole bunch of my extended family. (Remember, I’m Hispanic! Ha!) One doesn’t get a lot of opportunities to do that in a life time. Many of my family asked me for a copy of the eulogy – you can find it here.
We arrived back home to Honduras only to turn around and leave again in a week. Earlier in the year I had committed to leading praise and worship at a Missionary Kid’s Camp in early August. I had actually been preparing for it while I was still at my mama’s house. How wonderful God is in that I was able to practice worship songs that lifted His might and strength and dominion on high during a time when I could have been experiencing sadness, depression, anger, etc… God is good.
One of the hardest things that we deal with as international missionaries is that we can not be with our family when a thing like this happens. My daddy died while we were in route to be with the family. While grieving and traveling was very difficult, I’ve got to say, not being there was a blessing this time. We didn’t have to see Daddy all hooked up to life support. They literally covered his body with ice blankets to put him in a state of hypothermia to hopefully protect his brain from any more damage. My daddy hated those machines and hospitals. He hated being cold.
I’m used to being apart from dad. We have been in Honduras for six years now and on a day-to-day basis I really don't miss him much. It may be hard to understand, but this fact has softened the emotional blow for me. If I had been in Colorado for the past six years I know that his death would be much harder on me, on all of us. Some other things that will never be the same: I will never spend time again with my daddy, never laugh with him again, never hold his hand again...but that's O.K. God is good and His love endures forever; This is a fact that will be the same and will never change, and in Him I put my hope.
I appreciate your prayers in the next few months for I am told that those months can be harder than the first few. Daddy would have been 80 this week; his birthday was a hard day for me. Please keep praying for my mommy, Mary. Although she has her garden to occupy her this summer, fall and winter are coming. Pray for renewed friendships and Christ to be her most important companion. Pray for my brother, Archie as well. He has been lovingly taking care of Mom and Dad for a long time now. His and my mama's lives will be so different without Dad around. Some things will never be the same.
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