This Month's Article

Don't be a Lone Ranger: Get a Posse!

Why do some people prosper while others struggle? When you have great news, do you have someone to share it with? According to Wayne Baker author of Achieving Success Through Social Capital, "successful people know how to improve their wealth, health, and happiness by creating rich social capital, tapping the hidden resources in their business, professional, and personal networks". In order to be successful in your business and personal life it's important to have a supportive community. Do you have ten people in your life who really care about you? Some people describe their lives as working all day, coming home for dinner, watching TV or getting on the Internet and then going to sleep. There is very little interaction with people on a personal level. Busy lifestyles often leave no time for friends or extended family. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are lots of ways to meet people and develop or rekindle relationships.

For example, one of my clients, Mary, is a single parent with a 10-year-old daughter. Mary had very few friends and has only recently become aware of this void in her life She is now on a path to building a caring community. She started by calling the mother of one of her daughter's classmates to invite her to meet for coffee. She is reaching out to her neighbors to see if there is anyone she might like to get to know better. She belongs to two organizations but doesn't have any personal friends from the group. After taking the initiative to begin new friendships, Mary is planning a party to invite her new friends. She is finding that when she makes the effort to get to know people, they are usually very receptive.

Another way of building community is to rekindle valuable relationships from your past. My husband's high school reunion was coming up and he hadn't seen his friends in many years. He planned a dinner and made many phone calls to get a group together. Five people showed up and they sat for three hours sharing high school memories and laughter. He had a great time and the group has gotten together several times in the last year. Group members have invited others to join them and they all look forward to these gatherings.

Many people work from home today and don't have opportunities to be part of a community. For them, there's no water cooler for hanging out. E-mail makes it too easy not to talk to people or see them.

However, it's very important to have a community that provides safety and security for you to grow. Look for people who support you and inspire you. Find friends who appreciate and value you and your talents.

It takes time and energy to build a community, so choose the people wisely. Build relationships with people who accept you and are not critical or judgmental. It's important to feel energized when you’re with them, not feel drained by negativity.

As a coach, I'd like to make a request. Before you receive next month's Powerful Solutions newsletter, reach out to someone you'd like in your circle of ten. Make a plan to meet and start building your social capital. Select people who will add joy to your life. They might come from your work, your neighborhood or organizations you belong to. Maybe you have a favorite aunt or uncle or someone you haven't seen in a long time that you would like to make time for. How about your college roommate or your favorite cousin from childhood? Perhaps there is someone you've met through business that you'd like to get to know. Make a copy of this article and send it along with a note to them. So often we meet someone and they say "let's get together." You say, sure and that's it. Next time, take out your calendar and make a date.

The important thing is not to expect others to know what you need. Whether at work or at home, when it's appropriate, verbalize what you want. A spouse or coworker might not realize how much you need to be acknowledged, respected, etc. Be specific. Also, don't feel that if you have to ask for it, it doesn't count. That's not true. Asking to have your needs met does not make it less effective. Don't hesitate to ask for what makes you happy.

The community that you're building must be nurtured. Reach out! Take a risk! It's worth it. You'll add joy and success to your business and personal life.

Have a great month!! 

 
Phyllis Sisenwine, MCC
Powerful Solutions, Inc.


Published by Phyllis Sisenwine, Master Certified Coach, Motivational Speaker and writer. She works with clients to earn more money, improve time management and stay focused. To schedule a powerful coaching conversation send an email. Her website is located at www.powerfulcoaching.com

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Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited.
Phyllis Sisenwine, Master Certified Coach
POWERFUL SOLUTIONS, INC. Inspiring Excellence...in You.