Filmmakers Update

Sources revealed today that George Lucas, billionaire Marin filmmaker, philanthropist, and all-around great guy, has signed a 99-year lease on Rancho Olompali and will be turning it into an exciting new theme park called "LucasLand." The deal was said to be personally handled by Governor Jerry Brown, who made today's announcement via Twitter, saying "George has a unique vision for this park that is sure to blow a few minds! #olompalirocks #lucasland #voteforBrownin2014."

Lucas could not be reached for comment, but his (purported) spokesperson issued a pamphlet which claims to lay out his plans for the new park. The action-packed rides and attractions include:

The Battle of Olompali Rides Again Carried out with expert horsemanship and gunfighting skills by a team of Hollywood stuntmen, this reenactment of the only battle of California's Bear Flag Revolt is sure to provide thrills and chills for families and history buffs alike!

The 49er Flume Take the tram to the top of Mt. Burdell, board an authentic recreation of a gold miner's cart, and get ready for the ride of your life down the world's longest flume ride!

The Burning Mansion Dressed up as "hippies," the park guests will see their lives flash before their eyes during this hair-raising tour of the renovated Burdell mansion as it fills with smoke and flames. Don't worry, folks, it's all done through the magic of special effects!

The Sir Francis Drake Sixpence Wax Museum Not to be missed! The museum will feature amazingly lifelike recreations of many famous Olompali residents, including Miwok headman Camilio Ynitia, San Francisco's first dentist, Galen Burdell, seminal rock band the Grateful Dead, and members of the Chosen Family commune.

Today's announcement came as a surprise to many in the community. Said local bricklayer Ernie Paluka, "I've always loved Olompali, but I can't wait to take my kids on the new roller coaster, which I hear will be the tallest in the universe."

Olompali Person of the Month

Introducing the new mascot of LucasLand, C-3-P-Olompali!

3-P-Olom, as we like to call him, will be on hand to give guided tours of the new park, pose for photos, and, through the miracle of robotics and technology, personally run and maintain all the rides. He'll even perform all the janitorial duties when the park closes every night!

We welcome C-3-P-Olom (and his clones) to Olompali and wish him/them every success!

In case it's not obvious - Happy April Fools Day!
Our April newsletter will be coming soon!

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