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As we begin this spring season at Journey to Hope, we are ever mindful that this season represents new beginnings in so many ways, and for some of you, the new beginnings seems to apply to everyone but you. Your situation and your life may seem as if it will not change, or get better, or begin again. Take some time to think about spring in a new way. Think about what we have just experienced this winter…..snow, cold, everything dead and brown, and then, repeat – more times than we thought possible this year. And yet, spring is almost upon us. It will not be denied its chance to, once again, bring in new weather, new flowers, new beginnings. So, hold on to hope…there will be better days ahead for you. Let spring encourage you this year.
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Birth Announcement and Walden World Rocker - Mackenzie
Most of you know the story of how our world was rocked just 7 short weeks ago in the form of Mackenzie, and 8 lb, 6 oz surprise bundle of joy, delivered to my son Drew and daughter-in-law Becca. If there is a possibility that you do not yet know this story, the synopsis is that none of us had any idea Mackenzie was on her way. Drew and Becca went to the ER about 4 a.m. on the morning of February 4th , with a terrible stomachache and 2 hours 30 minutes later, our beautiful Mackenzie was born. Perfect and amazing, but a surprise to everyone, including Drew and Becca! Needless to say, we have all hit the ground running, immersing ourselves in all things baby. Very happy to say that everyone is doing great; and life is settling into a new routine with a baby in all of our lives.
I have asked many of you to journal and ponder this month the accidental and/or unexpected events that have happened in your lives. The definition of an accidental event is that it is something so big overwhelming and life changing, that it uses almost all of your resources to manage, survive and face it, and all the areas of your life are changed because of it. It can be a totally positive event, such as the birth of Mackenzie, or a negative event, such as the loss of a loved one. Either way, the response required to walk through it requires huge amounts of emotional, physical and mental energy. Looking back over a marriage, or a season of life, and realizing how big an event these accidental events can be, can actually help you to understand yourself better and how these types of things actually affect you and those you love.
The Counselor’s Corner article focus this month is intentionally on Forgiveness. It is the season when we remember that we too have been forgiven, and I want to encourage you to consider if you need to do some forgiveness work in your own heart and life. Forgiveness frees you, so my prayer is that you will explore deeply the message of forgiveness in the cross, and then look at your own heart. Praying for forgiveness to be greater than any other emotion and for grace to be applied to those you need to forgive.
We are very happy to announce a new staff member at Journey to Hope, Doug Thrash, as a Life Coach. Welcome, Doug! We are so very thrilled with the gifts and knowledge that Doug brings to our team, and we hope you will give a very warm welcome to him as well. See his complete bio and a message from him later in this newsletter.
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Counselor's Corner
Susie Walden,MA,LPC,NCC
Forgiveness is a very important piece of my life story, and as many of you know, the topic of my dissertation. You might call me a forgiveness disciple. I believe in the power of forgiveness because I have experienced it personally and because it is God’s perfect solution.
Why forgive? Many of us look at forgiveness as a very noble thing to do, and feel like we are pretty good at forgiving. We may also want others to be willing to forgive us when we have fallen short. And then, something hits our lives and hurts us to the core of who we are. Often, these hurts are intentional…someone actually intended to hurt you with words or actions. When this occurs, or reoccurs, forgiveness, one of the most difficult things for us to actually do. We often say “I forgive you†quickly in an argument or disagreement, but the truth is that we have not truly forgiven when we choose to keep holding something against someone.
What is forgiveness, then? Here are some ideas for you to consider:
(a) forgiveness is a decision to let go of resentment and bitterness;
(b) forgiveness is an act of your will;
(c) forgiveness is “taking your hands off someone’s throat†about a particular offense.
(d) Forgiveness means releasing the other from blame, leaving the event in God's hands, and moving on.
(e) Forgiveness means one does not hold grudges or seek revenge.
(f) Forgiveness does not mean that we forget what happened; it means that forgiveness helps us to process the pain of what happened. The painful memory of the offense may continue, but its power over us is released through forgiveness.
(g) Forgiveness is an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us.
(h) Forgiveness empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.
What Forgiveness is NOT:
- Forgiveness does not mean you minimize or deny the seriousness of an offense against you.
- Forgiveness does not equal forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
- Forgiveness does not obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal consequences of their actions.
Forgiveness in the Bible – The word “forgive†occurs 81 times in the whole of the Bible. “Forgiveness†occurs 124 times, while the word “forgiving†occurs 11 times, “forgiven†occurs 61 times and “forgave†occurs 13 times. Together, they make about 290 verses on the topic of forgiveness in the Bible. Here is a list of bible verses on forgiveness. http://www.internationalforgiveness.com/data/uploaded/files/BibleVersesonForgiveness.pdf
Benefits of Forgiveness:
Forgiveness can make us happier. Research suggests that happy people are more likely to forgive but also that forgiving others can help to create happiness in people, especially when they forgive someone close to them.
Forgiveness improves health. When we forgive, stress levels drop. However, when we ruminate on offenses and hold grudges, blood pressure and heart rates can and do increase these are signs of stress that can eventually damage our body. Studies also suggest that withholding forgiveness might compromise our immune system, making us less resistant to illness.
Forgiveness sustains relationships. When our friends hurt or disappoint us, and they surely will, if we are unforgiving, we are less likely to sacrifice or cooperate with them, which undermines feelings of trust and commitment, driving us further apart. Studies suggest that forgiveness can stop this downward spiral and repair our relationship before it dissolves.
Forgiveness is good for marriages. Spouses who are more forgiving and less vindictive are better at resolving conflicts effectively in their marriage. A long-term study of newlyweds found that more forgiving spouses had stronger, more satisfying relationships. However, when more forgiving spouses were frequently mistreated by their husband or wife, they became less satisfied with their marriage.
Forgiveness actually helps us feel kinder and more connected to others. People who feel forgiving do not limit their positive feelings toward the person who hurt them. They are also likely to feel more positive toward someone who hurt them. They are also more likely to want to volunteer and donate money to charity, and they feel more connected to other people in general.
Take the forgiveness quiz and see where you stand on forgiveness. This is from the Internal Forgiveness Institute website, which is an excellent place to spend some time if you are interested in forgiveness. http://www.internationalforgiveness.com/
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/quizzes/take_quiz/2
It is my prayer that you will do the work necessary to forgive others, to ask for forgiveness, or to forgive yourself. All so very necessary in this journey of life.
Blessings,
Susie
References:
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DiBlasio, F. A. (2010). Christ-like forgiveness in marital counseling: A clinical follow-up of two empirical studies. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 29(4), 291-300. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/845618987?accountid=12085
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DiBlasio, F. A., & Benda, B. B. (2008). Forgiveness intervention with married couples: Two empirical analyses. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 27(2), 150-158. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/237248802?accountid=12085
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Cheong, R. K., & DiBlasio, F. A. (2007). Christ-like love and forgiveness: A biblical foundation for counseling practice. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 26(1), 14-25. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/237250982?accountid=12085
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International Forgiveness Institute (2014). http://www.internationalforgiveness.com/
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Prepare-Enrich. Building Strong Marriages. (2014). www.prepare-enrich.com
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Worthington, E. L., J.R., Jennings,David J.,,II, & DiBlasio, F. A. (2010). INTERVENTIONS TO PROMOTE FORGIVENESS IN COUPLE AND FAMILY CONTEXT: CONCEPTUALIZATION, REVIEW, AND ANALYSIS. Journal of Psychology and Theology,38(4), 231-245.
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Retrieved from http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692
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Journey to Hope is very happy to announce that we are adding a new staff member to our team on March 31, 2014. Doug Thrash will be joining us as a Christian Life Coach. We are excited about the possibilities and feel that many will find hope and healing through Doug’s coaching at Journey to Hope. Welcome, Doug! Read about him below. Doug will begin afternoon/evening hours on Mondays, Tuesdays and some Thursdays, and will be leading the Financial Peace University group we will be offering beginning toward the end of April. Please see flyer for details about dates and cost.
Doug Thrash is a Christian Life Coach and he completed the program of studies for Diploma in Christian Life Coaching from Light University. His graduate degrees include a Master’s degree in Business Administration from George Mason University and a Master’s Degree in Electrical Engineering from the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, CA. Doug also has a BS in Mathematics from the U.S. Naval Academy.
Doug served in the Marine Corps for 20 years as a Radar Intercept Officer (RIO) in F-4 Phantom squadrons and as a Systems Acquisition Professional, completing his career at Marine Corp Systems Command at Quantico, VA. He went on to work in Strategic Marketing, Technology Development, and Network Engineering at MCI Communications, Nextel, and Sprint Nextel for 15 years. Currently, he is a Test and Evaluation Engineer with DELTA Resources, Inc with his primary work having been managing and providing oversight of all advance electronics testing of the Mine Resistant Ambush Protected (MRAP) vehicles that the Joint Services used in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Doug is married to Barbara from Meridian, MS. Barbara is a private piano teacher and they have resided in Stafford County since 1988 and plan to stay in this area until the Lord calls them home. Doug has served as an elder in a local congregation since 2004 and at a previous congregation, he has led the Financial Ministry Programs since 1997. In this capacity, he has been Stewardship Chairman and taught and facilitated Ron Blue’s Master Your Money, Crown Financial‘s Small Group Study, and most recently, Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University (FPU).
Doug is very passionate about CrossFit training and has been a member of the Stafford “box†for over 2 ½ years. He greatly enjoys working in the yard and his favorite season is spring when the 1500+ daffodils he has planted over the years come into bloom.
Message from Doug:
My passion is working with individuals/couples to help them become debt-free and achieve true financial freedom. The key component of this journey is recognition that God owns everything and we are just managers of His assets. He expects us to be wise in managing the money and treasures He has entrusted to us. As stated in Proverbs:
“The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.†Proverbs 21:5
When God “owns it allâ€, that means He also owns your debts and His best for everyone is becoming debt free. I look forward to taking the journey together toward financial freedom. A Christ-follower recognizes that the greatest debt of all was paid for by God sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die on the cross for each of us.
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Financial Peace University
 We all need a plan for our money. Financial Peace University (FPU) is that plan! It teaches God's ways of handling money. Through video teaching, class discussions and interactive small group activities, FPU presents biblical, practical steps to get from where you are to where you've dreamed you could be. This plan will show you how to get rid of debt, manage your money, spend and save wisely, and much more! Doug Thrash, Christian Life Coach, will be facilitating our first group of FPU. Here are the details:
Beginning: Tuesdays
1st session: April 29th, 2014
Final session: June 24th, 2014
Time: 6-7:30 p.m.
Cost per session: $50.00*
Kit for FPU: $100.00
You can also pay weekly for your kit at the rate of $20/week for 5 weeks. We want you to be able to take advantage of this wonderful tool for your finances, and we can work with you on a payment schedule.
Please call the office (540) 479-1661 and sign up. The class size is limited, so call and get your name on the list. Praying you will take advantage of this wonderful too for your finances.
*Cost of FPU includes 9 group sessions and one individual session with Doug to work on your personal finances. Individual session to be scheduled between you and Doug throughout the course of FPU.
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Announcing a New Specialization for Susie:
Certification in Trauma Therapy
We are also very happy to announce that Susie has just finished a doctoral certification in Trauma Therapy. This clinical certificate program was designed for clinicians and mental health professionals at the doctoral level and represents 12 semester hours of specialization.
The four designations of specializations are: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Combat Stress; Sexual Trauma; Domestic Violence and Disaster Mental Health. It is the desire of Journey to Hope that this certification and specialization in trauma therapy will open the door to help people who have been through these types of trauma get on the Journey to Hope.
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Inclement Weather Policy
We have had more snow day cancellations in the last 3 months than in the last 3 years, and we just want to make sure that you are aware of our inclement weather policy at Journey to Hope. If we cancel counseling due to inclement weather, there is no charge to you for the cancellation. We post notices of the cancellation on our website, on our Facebook page, and send out an email to everyone on the calendar. We have offered skype/facetime sessions when we have cancelled counseling hours at the office as an alternative. Skype and/or Facetime sessions are not covered by insurance, so we cannot file for reimbursement of the session. The hourly rate for a skype/facetime session is $120.00. However, what we have done this winter, on inclement weather days, is offer Skype and/or Facetime sessions at your insurance rate plus your copay. We realize that there is nothing any of us can do about the snow or other types of inclement weather, so this is a viable alternative when a session needs to occur despite the weather. If you have any questions regarding this policy, please contact Sharla Haasenritter in our office and she would be happy to discuss it with you.
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