I'm not perfect, but God is!
In my last update, I shared fears and lies the Enemy was sending rapidly through my mind as I tried to plan and prepare for the S. Asia Discovery trip. After I sent the update, things got better and worse.
The highlights were YOUR responses of prayer and encouragement as well as financial gifts that have helped cover many of the unexpected expenses of the trip. THANK YOU. Your generosity propelled us forward in motivation, excitement, and overall commitment to His Work!
The lowlights were the continual on and off negative thoughts. Through prayer (on our knees literally), Jason's faithful patience, and the advice and wisdom of others, God peeled back a layer of my humanity to reveal perfectionism rooting in my heart. While there are many contributing factors to feeling overwhelmed (stress, spiritual warfare, etc), it is clear that my perfectionism is also playing a role, and taking a toll on my well-being. I was told, "perfectionism will kill you" and after being targeted by intense adverse feelings, I believe it!
So, in the midst of trip planning, I'm also working through some recommended Perfectionism modules online, that are excellent. I'm also hoping to read through this book: "Death of the Modern Super Hero - how Grace breaks our rules," written by Chris Lautsbaugh, a "recovering superhero." I'm also practicing asking for help, which is really hard for me!
"Sanctification is the process of becoming Christ-like. In the definition of the word, we see it is a process." ~ Lautsbaugh
Even though, I am not perfect, there is One who is. Today, I am resting in Psalm 30, being reminded that HE is the one who equips me for service and makes my way perfect, not because of my efforts, but because of His strength and grace and perfectness!
30 As for God, his way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true.
He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.
31 For who is God except the Lord? Who but our God is a solid rock?
32 God arms me with strength, and he makes my way perfect.
33 He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights.
34 He trains my hands for battle; he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow.
35 You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me;
your help has made me great.
36 You have made a wide path for my feet to keep them from slipping.
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