JULY 2014
Alex Johnson
Membership information:
May 1 - April 30 $50.00 / year
$14.00 / meeting (whether you eat or not)
Guests may attend two meetings before joining.
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Yearly Meal Plan Savings of one month. $154.00
FROM THE BOARD
Nikkole Abbas
The Board of Directors would like to offer our sincere apology for recent complications with the reservations for monthly meetings. We are aware that some of you are not receiving the notification e-mails, and that some of your responses are not getting back to us. We are looking to address these issues, which are mostly technical in nature. As we continue to investigate and tweak our system, it is important to note that there may be some factors that may be outside of our immediate control, such as aggressive spam filters applied by your home or work network, your individual browser settings, or your e-mail client setup (like Outlook).
Also, please note that the Reservations and Networker newsletter e-mails are both being handled by the same system. This system is utilizing two e-mail addresses to send messages and receive replies: reservations@rcwomensnetwork.org and networker@rcwomensnetwork.org.
Here are some ways that individual members can help us to make sure messages are getting through to members and all RSVP's are received:
1. Contact Avis or Nikkole so we can make sure your e-mail address is on the list and current, with no mistakes or type-o's. Please mention if you are receiving only the Networker, only the Reservations, or neither.
2. Check your spam or junk folder to see if your Networker and/or Reservations messages are being filtered out of your inbox into spam.
3. Add reservations@rcwomensnetwork.org and networker@rcwomensnetwork.org to your safe list and/or to your address book to prevent it being filtered as spam.
4. Talk to your IT person at work to allow e-mails from our system to be added to the server's safe list. Nikkole is willing to communicate directly with them if needed. Contact her at sevengens@gmail.com
5. Change to your personal e-mail address if you have trouble receiving messages at work and vice versa.
6. By the Friday before the luncheon, send an e-mail to reservations@rcwomensnetwork.org, whether or not you have received a reminder.
7. The options above should work for most. If not, contact Nikkole for further personalized assistance and troubleshooting issues that may be unique to your individual setup or to find a workaround.
July Spotlight on…
Liz Benusis
What type of business are you in?
How did you get into that field?
I love people and especially enjoy the many interesting and enjoyable personalities in Women's Network. Being a long time member I have also served on the board and in various committees and highly recommend this as a way to deepen friendships.
Many of my childhood hours were spent doing artwork in the backyard and playing cello starting in the fourth grade in Michigan public schools. My college degrees are from the University of Michigan and The New England Conservatory of Boston. There is much continuing education in music and art at Yale, U. of Boston, Silvermine Art School, SDSMT, and Black Hills State U. for SD teacher certification with lots of summer institutes and workshops.
I just got back from a week in Clarmont California at the National Cello Institute and will attend the Northern Plains Watercolor Society annual workshop in August. Fun!
My days are spent teaching music, practicing and doing art work. I also get lots of time to do yoga, Pilates, lift weights, Zonta, walk, read, etc. and provide music for weddings, church services and the Black Hills Symphony.
My husband and son are dentists. We have three grown children, two are married and also have one adorable granddaughter.
Yes, I am so lucky to have such a full and wonderful life. There is more...
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Do you over use
“I’m sorry” ?
I will be the first to admit that I’m sorry comes out of my mouth more than it should. However, the frequency in which those two little words pass through my lips is absurd and never realizing it until a discussion, in a meeting lead to some serious self analysis. I work with people every day, as I am sure many of you ladies do, in an industry where the customer is always right and service with a smile is provided; yes, I am a bartender. The reality of my “I’m sorry” problem hit me hard and I could not believe the things I was apologizing to. However, there are pros and cons to all facets of life and to everyone.
Robert Trivers, an evolutionary biologist and sociobiology’s, argues that because humans, as a species, need to belong and be included in social circles; reciprocal Altruism long developed on the basic need for help; in its truest form he defined it as a superficial form of altruism. In layman’s terms, as a species, it’s a rarity for an individual to offer their time without the expectation of eventually receiving a return favor. Personally, this is bit negative because I do believe good genuine people still exist, what would this world be of there wasn’t.
With that, it can be argued that apologies can be beneficial. Recent research by Wood-Brooks, Dai, and Schweitzer suggests that apologizing for things that are in no way your fault (a so-called superfluous apology) increases people’s trust in you and makes them behave more trustingly in return. Surprisingly, an apology does go along way, it makes the person feel that you empathize with their situation and you have concern for their general well being. Who would have thought that a little apology for someone’s flat tire could develop trust!
History itself can validate how far women, as a gender, have excelled in society over the last 60 years. We have come a long way in business, science, politics, law the list is extensive and should not be reduced because we want to be liked, accepted, etc., However, there are still stigmas to being a woman and woman are highlighted as utilizing “I’m sorry” over men. I have made a conscious decision to reduces my apologies to situations that warrant them, trust me it is not easy. Be proud in your accomplishments, embrace your imperfections, and speak your mind for what you believe in because there is no need to apologize for the woman you are!
Here are some tips if you find yourself on the “I’m Sorry” wagon:
1. Say "thank you" instead. When your roommate or significant other does the dishes, rather than apologizing for not having done them yourself (which just burdens them with the need to reassure you), express your gratitude (which makes them feel happy and appreciated, and probably more apt to voluntarily do the dishes again later). This only applies, of course, when you generally do your share of the chores--if your roommate is in a huff because your never help out, thanking them for what they really should not have had to do may only annoy them further.
2. Save it. Saying sorry too much can trivialize the act of apology, making the important ones carry less weight. Don't cry wolf--save it for when you really need it, and mean it.
3. Try not to mess up in the first place. Easier said than done, of course. But if you know you have a (preventable) bad habit that negatively affects other people, better to try to avoid doing it in the first place, or at least avoid repeating it, rather than just apologizing after the fact.
4. Know where to draw the line. Apologize for your role in a negative event, but leave it at that. If you’re someone who likes to make amends and resolve conflict right away, it may be tempting to apologize for more than your share just to smooth everything over. But doing this can lead you to feel resentful and can let others off the hook too easily.
5. Embrace your imperfections. You don't have to apologize for having a bad hair day, for spilling on your shirt, or for needing three attempts to parallel park.
6. Get support. If you are racked with guilt and shame even when you've done nothing wrong, professional support (http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_search.php) may be helpful for addressing underlying self-worth issues or a history of trauma.
Daniela Stetser
RCWN Board Member
