COR RETREAT NEWS
July 2014
Theresa's Story of Recovery
Emotional pain; what is it? Where does it come from? I’ve lived most of my life carrying a burden of pain so deep it was unrecognizable to me consciously. I could never quite put my finger on it and yet I always felt it. To bury it, I turned to food.
Before I came to
COR Retreat I had a complicated relationship with food. From a young age I remember being told to clean my plate, not waste food, and eat sweets and desserts in moderation. I was the youngest of 8 kids growing up on a farm. Money was tight but we always had clothes on our backs, a nice, clean home to live in, and food on our plates. The thing that there wasn’t always enough of was emotional support, consequently I turned to food. In my family food was central to all celebrations and was also offered to soothe and comfort when feelings were hurt. My mother had been quite heavy when she graduated from high school but had lost the weight and kept if off before she married and raised a family. Growing up I learned the importance of eating a well balanced diet and making healthy choices. The problem was I just didn’t seem to have the same willpower my mother possessed and when I was by myself I would eat as much as I could until I was stuffed. This pattern followed me everywhere creating deeper and deeper levels of feelings I would try to bury with food and then beat myself up over because I couldn’t control my appetite. I had periods of success but the well of feelings I had buried and kept adding to were always there. Events in my life I had no control over haunted me and to keep them under control I could not look at them, so I pretended they never happened. I went through life oblivious and with blinders on to what was going on inside of me, eating when the feelings attempted to surface.
I found love and married at the age of 21 and over the next 9 years I gave birth to 6 beautiful children. My weight got heavier with each pregnancy and by my 6th pregnancy I was 180 pounds post-birth. By this time the weight was stuck like glue to my hips and thighs. I was depressed and life was full of stress raising 6 children and trying to do it perfectly amid the social standards I held myself up to. I was never good enough and there just wasn’t enough of me to go around. The smallest decisions put me over the edge and I cried buckets of tears. What was wrong with me?
I started seeing someone to help me find some answers and through the process I was diagnosed with PTSD. To address my relationship with food I was directed to COR Retreat and because I was tapped out and had no answers I was ready to listen. I attended COR Retreat in July 2013 and it changed my life forever. At COR Retreat I met other women who had stories that resembled mine and that caught my attention. I learned about our problems with food not really being about the food at all but about what we held deep inside. I learned about how my body reacts to certain foods and that as much willpower as I tried to have, my body physically would override that willpower and I would succumb to believing I was a failure. It wasn’t my fault! OMG!!
I came to COR Retreat weighing 160 pounds and over the past 12 months I worked a program with support and started to dig into and uncover that well of feelings I had buried over the past 50 years. I began to believe that if my relationship with food could be different then maybe I could see other events in my life differently too. Maybe I could even let go, eventually, of some of the weight I carried that no one else saw and only I felt. What was this? Hope.
I have lost 30 pounds and continue to work at that deep well of feelings uncovering and processing what I am ready to look at. I am kinder and gentler with myself and consequently with others. I cannot give to others what I cannot give myself and that is truly a driving theme in my recovery. It’s not easy sometimes, but then it’s certainly not as painful as life had gotten before I found
COR Retreat. That well of feelings inside me is transforming to a depth of gratitude that I am not quite sure how to express. All I know is that I feel, and that is good.
EnCOR Registration Open for October
After a successful
EnCOR Retreats in March and July, COR Retreat will be hosting EnCOR October 8-12, 2014. This is a follow-up retreat to COR Retreat. EnCOR focuses on steps 4-12, and the only requirement for attending is that you have gone through steps 1-3.
Click here to learn more about EnCOR and to register online.
From the Program Director
EnCOR 2 was a full house and a great success!
We started off the weekend with Burt, the founder, sharing his experience, strength and hope with us. Next, we had a local author share a detailed explanation of how to work all of the steps according to the Big Book. After that, we revisited the first three steps at a personal level. The very next morning, we embarked on a mini fourth step work shop with loving guidance and direction and individual attention. Two days later, there were a dozen old-timers at EnCOR to receive 5
th steps and to offer insights. After taking action on steps one through twelve at EnCOR, lives were transformed and people found freedom!
The fellowship was so powerful, some guests returned just for that connection. The strength of the bond that we have and that we feel fills a void that active food addiction left us with!
Thank you to all of the volunteers and participants for sharing in this amazing healing experience.
Good news! The next
EnCOR will be October 8
th-12
th. Hurry and sign up before it fills again.
Thank you all for letting me be of service,
EnCOR 2 Testimonials
- "The EnCOR Experience surpassed my expectations. Working the 5th step was a very healing experience.” (Charlotte)
- "I feel so energized and hopeful at the progress I made. I intensively peeled off several layers and I am very grateful!” (Deonne)
- "It means so much to me that people who can’t find anything like COR Retreat, now have EnCOR to come back to for continuing their spiritual journey instead of their struggle." (Josine)
- "My 5th step was a learning and uplifting experience." (Jill)
- "The EnCOR Experience surpassed my expectations. Working the 5th step was a very healing experience. (Charlotte)
- I feel so energized and hopeful at the progress I made. I intensively peeled off several layers and I am very grateful! (Deonne)
- It means so much to me that people who can’t find anything like COR Retreat, now have EnCOR to come back to for continuing their spiritual journey instead of their struggle. (Josine)
- My 5th step was a learning and uplifting experience. (Jill)
- We worked the steps with guidance and love." (Kris)
- "I am so grateful for the opportunity to have a second chance." (Patti)
Step 12
Not Just For the Food
“…Practice these principles in all of our affairs,” states step twelve. So, what does that mean? Most people know that Bill Wilson, the author of the steps, like to use different words that mean the same thing. I was taught that the word, principles, was another way to refer to the steps. So in the twelfth step it states that we are to practice the steps in all of our affairs, not just around our eating troubles!
In order to stay recovered in the food, I need to use the steps in every area of my life including; finances, relationships and work. For example, when I have a fear around money, which most people do, I can run the fear through the steps.
Step One: I am powerless over the outcome of what I fear. In Step Two, I ask myself if I am willing to let God (As I understand God) restore me to sanity around this fear. Then I recommit to Step Three. I take an inventory and do steps four through nine, discussing this fear with someone and making amends if needed. Afterwards, I always feel relief because my thinking is restored to trusting God (my Higher Power) and not my limited self.
Living in steps ten, eleven and twelve on a daily basis gives me a process to deal with life on life’s terms without having the desire to overeat!
