Some days, life stinks. Work feels like a trap, full of crazy people you have nothing in common with, most of whom are out to get you, or at least so it feels. Your side job is falling apart. You have no partner to vent to, or the one you have suddenly feels like a stranger. You have no kids, or overnight, yours have turned into demons with no resemblance to those lovely cuddly babies you longingly remember. And just to ice the cake, you start hearing that people all around you – both publicly and privately – are dying, the weather is cold and grey, and the nutters are taking over all the governments, threatening life as we know it for the foreseeable future... On days like this, it can feel like a tsunami of pain, loneliness, and even horror threatens to overwhelm us. So how to find the strength to get up and try again...?


These Tools Will Help

Here are some of the tools I've learned over the years, to deal with these times that we all experience, sooner or later:

1. Pay attention to the signs – the short temper instead of your normal equanimity, reluctance to get out of bed, a sinking feeling of bleakness, even waves of panic. These feelings are indicators that something is up, and needs your attention. There's nothing wrong with having those feelings – the problem comes when you ignore them, or can't hear what they are trying to tell you.

2. Have patience – with yourself as well as with those around you. Be willing to notice but not go off the deep end; to sit with the difficult feelings to understand what they have to tell you.

A colleague* who has recently been on a steep life learning curve shared a few approaches she uses to navigate such situations. She says they help her step off-stage for a minute and look at what’s going on from a broader perspective. For example, she asks herself: