A Gauntlet of Veg

So it’s the middle of summer and I’m awash in weird and expensive vegetables I have no real chance of consuming. Why? Because several months ago when the days were short and my environment was buried under snowbanks, I thought it would be a great idea to purchase a farm share. (Also known as CSA or community supported agriculture.)

For those of you who’ve never done a farm share, it goes like this: you give a local farm a big wad of money, and they pledge to drop off a weekly or bi-weekly delivery of random veggies they’ve grown to a local pickup location.

Back when I ponied up the cash, I had all these grandiose ideas about healthy eating. Now, of course, I’m dismayed over the time and energy the farm shares are sucking out of my life. My fridge is full. Over-full. But there’s nothing in there to grab and eat, just ingredients.

Weird ones.

I thought the kohlrabi would be my worst enemy. I hate those things and there’s bound to be one in every farm share. But this year I grated it and made slaw, and it was edible. Other weird veg wasn’t so lucky. So far half the salad turnips and the daikon radish have withered and died. I made a valiant attempt to eat the daikon with some raw squash and other stuff as a crudite, but ended up bowled over by stomach cramps from too much raw veg at once. I’ve got some beets in there right now that just seem rude. Why would I want to eat something that will stain my whole kitchen pink?

But I paid for them. So I have to try.

I’m sure there’s some kind of psychology involved. Health insurance will often kick in some money toward the cost of the CSA, so it seems like a bargain. (Although when I sit down and figure out how much it’s costing me each week, it really isn’t.) The element of surprise must be what really drew me in, the delight at finding something unexpected and interesting in my veggie box.

There’s more evidence that I can be suckered into spending money on dubious things just because I enjoy the element of surprise. I once purchased a random shirt from Woot.com and ended up with a weird T-shirt no one understands…though some do get it when I explain it’s not a pickle but a bacteria. I guess it gives people an excuse to stare at my chest. 

Speaking of weird food-related things…my M/M/M thriller The Starving Years is now in audio! Fifty years ago, a new food source called mana was discovered, and with world hunger conquered, the society veered off in a direction subtly unlike the reality we now know. Gomez Pugh has done a stellar job with his narration and bringing the characters to life. I was so riveted, he had me laughing and then crying in the span of a single scene.

I was about to wrap up with something pithy about how surely my gauntlet of veg is nearly done, but I just checked the schedule and I see I’m only a third of the way through. I’ll be getting boxes of demanding ingredients through the end of October. Anyone need a zucchini?

Healthfully yours,

Jordan