Poor Clifton's Cafeteria! The Downtown L.A. landmark hasn't even reopened yet after its four year, multi-million dollar restoration / reinvention, yet it's already received a blistering review from Megan Koester, a comedienne who attended the VIP press preview.
But the trouble with Clifton's isn't that it's been closed for 1446 days (and didn't re-open as planned last week), that it's too expensive now, that the old gang doesn't go there anymore or that the updates wrecked the joint.
No, the trouble with Clifton's is that people care so darn much about it that they can barely contain themselves. This might be the first, but it won't be the last bad review.
And we can certainly relate to Ms. Koester's passion. For as long as we've been giving tours and exploring the lost history of Los Angeles, Clifford Clinton's magnificent cafeteria has been our home in the heart of the city. Among its artificial pines and waterfalls, we hosted cultural Salons and Thanksgiving dinners, developed new tours, toasted visitors and marked important personal milestones.
And as we've fought to preserve historic landmarks and build a creative community, so much of that work at Clifton's, we started to feel like the long-dead Clifford Clinton—gadfly, visionary, muckraker, activist, feeder of the hungry and builder of worlds—was a mentor, maybe even a friend. We'd often ask ourselves "What would Clifford Clinton do?"
And that never stopped, even when the big glass doors swung shut for the last time on September 25, 2011.
Now Clifton's is coming back—changed, but not, we think, too much. We've toured every floor, and found the familiar spaces brightened and the new spaces beguiling.
Megan Koester loved Clifton's, too, and she's convinced herself that she and the old patrons, who she remembers as being homeless people and drug addicts, won't be welcomed back.
Four years is a long time, though, and memories can play peculiar tricks.
The truth is that at the time it closed, the dominant demographic of Clifton's patrons was working families (weekends) and the elderly poor (every day). If there were a lot of homeless or junkie patrons, you certainly couldn't tell by looking at them. And in any case, everyone who came in the door, including the man who'd leave his bunny rabbit in a baby carriage on the terrazzo sidewalk out front, was treated as an honored guest, and allowed to linger over their meal, however modest. The closure left a big hole in Downtown.
New Clifton's proprietor Andrew Meieran is a smart man, and he recognizes the PR value in the visionary, idealistic Clifton's brand. We would be very surprised if the affordable, welcoming cafeteria doesn't act as a loss leader for the more profitable, upscale venues up- and downstairs. The architectural division of leaving the historic cafeteria spaces largely unchanged, while creating ambitious new venues in unfamiliar parts of the building, suggests that this is the logic behind the project.
A critical article like Megan Koester's can be hard to read, but it clearly comes from a place of love—what the urban preservation theorists call Affective Ownership. It's normal to fret about changes to Clifton's if you adore the place. We think it's too early to say what the new Clifton's will be like, but if it isn't a melting pot for all kinds of Angelenos, then it will be fair for critics and patrons to call that out.
Personally, we're hopeful. Let's take it one bowl of Jell-O at a time, and give the new Clifton's a chance to exceed our varied, and valid, expectations.
The trouble with Clifton's? Clifton's is dearly beloved. Oh, to have such troubles!
Clifton's Cafeteria re-opens—for real, this time—at 11am on Thursday, October 1. We'll be there with bells on, and open minds. So if you see us, give us a jingle.
We're back on the bus on Saturday on a rare Wild Wild Westside crime bus excursion to the strange, grim land of our childish days. And while supplies last, save $18 off your ticket with the coupon code snakeinthemailbox. Join us, do!
OUR HISTORIC L.A. PODCAST
In the latest edition of You Can't Eat the Sunshine, we're back from hiatus with a bang as we talk shop with restoration architect Brian Kite and peep inside the wild 1950s diary of Clifton's Cafeteria camera girl Vilma. Click here to tune in.
COMING SOON
WILD WILD WESTSIDE - SAT. 10/3... Think there's no weird history on the Westside? Come thrill to tales of teenaged terrors, tortured tots, wicked wives, evil spirits, cults, creeps and assorted maniacs, like Weird Ward, boy husband of the nefarious cult leader who compelled her followers to carry her dead victims all across 1920s L.A., and the peculiar Helen Love, murderess who nearly escaped justice when she willed herself into a coma. Plus a true-life Hansel and Gretel story, the grand hotel that was a flop house for the Synanon Cult and a ghastly killing beneath the pier. It's a tour so wild, we had to say it twice. (Buy tickets here.)
SKID ROW HISTORY WALKING TOUR & ROOFTOP SCREENING - THURS, 10/8... These events, co-hosted by our Richard Schave, are offered under the umbrella of LAVA - The Los Angeles Visionaries Association. (Free, reservations required for the tour and for the film.)
HOLLYWOOD! - SAT. 10/10... This new tour reveals the unwritten history of the sleepy suburb that birthed the American dream factory, a neighborhood packed with fascinating lore and architectural marvels. You won’t see the stars’ homes or hear about their latest real estate deals, but we’ll show you where some colorful characters breathed their last, got into trouble that defined the rest of their lives and came up with ideas that the world is still talking about. So for unforgettable stories you won’t hear on anyone else’s Hollywood tour, climb aboard and tour Cross Roads of the World (Robert V. Derrah, 1936) and much more. (Buy tickets here.)
CHARLES BUKOWSKI'S LOS ANGELES - SAT. 10/17... Come explore Charles Bukowski's lost Los Angeles and the fascinating contradictions that make this great local writer such a hoot to explore. Haunts of a Dirty Old Man is a raucous day out celebrating liquor, ladies, pimps and poets. The tour includes a visit to Buk's DeLongpre bungalow, where you'll see the Cultural-Historic Monument sign that we helped to get approved, and a mid-tour provisions stop at Pink Elephant Liquor. (Buy tickets here.)
HALLOWE'EN HORRORS: DARK SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA LORE FROM THE NOTEBOOKS OF KIM COOPER - FRI, 10/30... This illustrated true crime lecture and catered dinner, featuring our Kim Cooper, is presented by the Beverly Hills Women's Club. ($60 for non-members, reservations required. For info click here.)
THE REAL BLACK DAHLIA - SAT. 10/31... Join us on this iconic, unsolved Los Angeles murder mystery tour, from the throbbing boulevards of a postwar Downtown to the quiet suburban avenue where horror came calling. After multiple revisions, this is less a true crime tour than a social history of 1940s Hollywood female culture, mass media and madness, and we welcome you to join us for the ride. (Sold out, repeats 1/9/2016. Sign up for the waiting list here.)
RAYMOND CHANDLER'S L.A. - SAT. 11/7... Follow in the young writer's footsteps near his downtown oil company offices to sites from The Lady in the Lake and The Little Sister, meet several real inspirations for the Philip Marlowe character and get the skinny on Chandler's secret comic operetta that we discovered in the Library of Congress nearly a century after it was written. Plus a stop at Scoops for noirish gelato creations and a visit to Larry Edmunds Bookshop. (Buy tickets here.)
BLOOD & DUMPLINGS - SAT. 11/14... Forget Hollywood, babe, 'cause the quintessential L.A. town is definitely El Monte, its history packed with noirish murders, brilliant thespians, loony Nazis, James Ellroy's naked lunch and the lion farm that MGM's celebrated kitty called home. See all this and so much more, including the Man from Mars Bandit's Waterloo, when you climb aboard the daffiest crime tour in our arsenal, and the only one that includes a dumpling picnic at a landmark playground populated with fantastical giant sea creatures. (Buy tickets here.)
ECHO PARK BOOK OF THE DEAD - SAT. 11/21... New on our calendar, a crime bus tour meant to honor the lost souls who wander the hills and byways of the "streetcar suburbs" that hug Sunset Boulevard. See seemingly ordinary houses, streets and commercial buildings revealed as the scenes of chilling crimes and mysteries, populated by some of the most fascinating people you'd never want to meet. Plus a visit to Sister Aimee Semple McPherson's exquisite Parsonage, now a museum. (Buy tickets here.)
RICHARD'S 47th BIRTHDAY BUS TOUR OF THE PALOS VERDES PENINSULA - SAT. 11/28... Pack a picnic lunch (we’ll supply the birthday cake and coffee) and join us for an all-day outing exploring the history, landscape and built environment of the Palos Verdes Peninsula. This is a one-time only special event bus adventure that will never be repeated. (Get more info and buy tickets here.)
PASADENA CONFIDENTIAL - SAT. 12/5...The Crown City masquerades as a calm and refined retreat, where well-bred ladies glide around their perfect bungalows and everyone knows what fork to use first. But don't be fooled by appearances. Dip into the confidential files of old Pasadena and meet assassins and oddballs, kidnappers and slashers, black magicians and all manner of maniac in a delightful little tour you won't find recommended by the better class of people. (Buy tickets here.)
HOTEL HORRORS & MAIN STREET VICE - SAT. 12/12... Through the 1940s, downtown was the true city center, a lively, densely populated, exciting and sometimes dangerous place. But while many of the historic buildings remain, their human context has been lost. This downtown double feature tour is meant to bring alive the old ghosts and memories that cling to the streets and structures of the historic core, and is especially recommended for downtown residents curious about their neighborhood's neglected history. (Buy tickets here.)
Four times a year, we gather in the teaching crime labs of Cal State Los Angeles under the direction of Professor Donald Johnson to explore the history and future of American forensic science. Your $36.50 ticket to V is for Vice: Eight Decades of Sin & Scandal, from the Sunset Strip to Beverly Hills benefits graduate level Criminalistics research. For more info, click here.
RECOMMENDED READING
New from burlesque scholar Leslie Zemeckis, the definitive biography of Miss Lili St. Cyr (pronounced "sincere"), that peculiar Pasadena lass whose conceptual, prop-laden "reverse strips" would redefine the art of the the tease. Her cautionary tale of glamour, ambition, hasty weddings and long physical and psychological decline largely unfolds on- and off the stage in Southern California. By the same author, Behind the Burly Q: The Story of Burlesque in America, the subject of a memorable LAVA Sunday Salon presentation.
Our Joan Renner gives voice to legendary L.A. crime reporter Aggie Underwood.
The road to historic landmarking can be a weird one.
A nasty landlord makes a tenants' rights activist in the Villa Carlotta war.
We advocate for a 120-year-old Boyle Heights mansion, and her longtime tenants. (Some background.)
Polyester Poltergeists! Silver Lake animation maestro Mike Jittlov goes ape in a Broadway department store, 1974.
The Militant Angeleno scopes out LA's newest mall and finds some progressive surprises.
"At Last, an L.A. Tour Company For the Morbidly Curious." (Travel + Leisure digs our atypical excursions.)
SUPPORT OUR WORK
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New Clifton's proprietor Andrew Meieran is a smart man, and he recognizes the PR value in the visionary, idealistic Clifton's brand. We would be very surprised if the affordable, welcoming cafeteria doesn't act as a loss leader for the more profitable, upscale venues up- and downstairs. The architectural division of leaving the historic cafeteria spaces largely unchanged, while creating ambitious new venues in unfamiliar parts of the building, suggests that this is the logic behind the project. 
