“Maybe every once in a while
we can take a break
from doing everything
faster and quicker
to reflect on who we are
and where we are going.”
― Joe Plumeri

How's the weather in your neck of the woods, <<Name>>?  It finally feels like FALL here in Ohio with swirling leaves and temperatures in the low 50's! One of the tasks on my list this weekend? SWEEP all those swirling leaves out of the garage!

Those leaves blew into the garage as I was unloading groceries on Thursday afternoon...a visit to the grocery store that, frankly had me thinking ever since.....

You see, I entered the vestibule of the grocery store where all the cards live, and they were a hot  tangled mess. In front of me was a mom with two preschoolers, with one little girl in her arms and the other hanging onto the the edge of her jacket.

She looked at me, sighed and said "I'm sorry"

I knew immediately what she was "sorry" about. She was "sorry" for needing a moment to wrangle those two little girls so they could do their family shopping.

I smiled at her and told her "Take your time getting settled, there's no hurry."

Her shoulders relaxed and she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, "Thank you. You're the first person to tell me in ages that there's no hurry."

I patted her on the arm and waited the 60 to 90 seconds that it took her to get the little one buckled into the cart with the seat belt and move forward with the cart and her older daughter. Then, I snagged my own cart and followed them in.

I am the first person to admit that I move at an intense pace, but have we become so calloused  that we mow over everyone around us?  Do we always have to be in a hurry? We seem to live in a society that wants to punish folks that need to move a bit slower than everyone else.

How many times has this young mom been treated to eye rolls, loud sighs, and comments she was meant to hear as others kvetched and complained? How many times have I been guilty of letting my "busy-ness" or "hurry" caused me to be the impatient one?

I know that life moves fast. I know that many of us are overwhelmed with the sheer volume of tasks we must do. I know that many of us are mentally fighting demons that no one around us is aware of.... but can we slow down enough to breathe and treat others around us with kindness?

As it happens when you are grocery shopping, I passed the trio several times as we made our way from produce to canned goods into the dairy department and through the beauty department. And each time, we nodded and smiled at each other and both girls giggled and waved at me. And each time we passed, the girls were happy, engaged and smiling and their mom was teasing them and joyful.

Can we extend an extra 90 seconds to that elderly person or young parent? Can we offer 90 seconds of patience and kindness to those we encounter?

Ever since that short encounter, I've been reminding myself that no matter how many things I have on my list, trying to hurry my pace never helps. And, in fact, it keeps me from being truly engaged in my life.

A couple of months ago, I began a letter exchange with a girlfriend. We agreed to write about our creative lives and exchange our thoughts via "snail mail". When I receive a letter, there are moments I want to pick up the phone and call or jot off an email. Instead, I pick up a stack of paper, grab a favorite pen, slow down and reply.

The rewards to my soul have been many...and it's been another great reminder that I don't have to have an instant reply...that I don't have to hurry.  And that waiting and anticipating her next letter fills my creative stores...

So, tell me, darling: what about you? Are you in such a hurry that you neglect to see others as human? Can you extend kindness to the strangers you meet in a chance encounter? Are we neglecting a sense of patience with those we love? Can we give ourselves a break from being faster or quicker?

How can we slow down a bit? How can we make sure that we are present in our own life? How might taking a big deep breath allow you to love your life just a little bit more? What if slowing down would allow you to get a better view on who we desire to be?

What are the rewards you might receive if you allowed time to take it's course instead of demanding an instant result?

With so much love,




 

And, baby, I know that the mere thought of planning makes your brain imagine you’re tied down to a railroad track with an express train heading your way.

But I am here to tell you that if you want to live your life on your terms, aligned with your deepest desires, then maybe it’s time to shift your thinking when it comes to creating a plan.

I am the first to admit that I like plans. From the time I was a little girl, I planned things. Often on paper. I was such a planner that I received my bachelor’s in 3 ½ years, without attending summer school. I have a Project Management Professional certification.

Spreadsheets are my Jam.

But I also know that if I keep my eyes only on the plans, I’ll miss the beautiful juicy bits of life. Experiencing the magic of presence. Hearing the call to adventure. Allowing for serendipity. Trusting my gut even if it doesn’t play on paper.

You can’t love your life if you’re living in a straitjacket.

But let me be frank with you, sugarplum. You cannot live a life of your own design if you don’t choose to create it. Yes, creation sounds loose and free, but conscious creation requires focus.

Without a plan, there is no direction for the trajectory of living. You may say that you like to live by the seat of your pants, but, darling, the seat of your pants living is really an unconscious existence and reactive approach.

The truth is, if you do not choose consciously create the kind of life you desire to experience, then, my darling, you will always feel as if missing. You will forever be thinking that the answer to your happiness is a new job, a new lover, a thinner body, or some other change to your outer life.

Creating a plan for how you desire to live your life, though, will allow you to change your life from the inside out. And that, my dear, is how you not only create lasting change, but fall in love with the day to day experience of living.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” –Jim Rohn

That’s why one of my secret weapons to continuing to thrive in my life and love it owes part of its thanks to the review and planning processes. I wrote about my review process last week, and now that I’ve shared with you why planning is crucial to living your life on your terms.

Here’s how I tackle my annual planning with quarterly adjustments.

One – Schedule Time.

I know this may sound like a broken record, but if I don’t get it on the calendar it doesn’t happen. I block off a day sometime in the fall for my annual planning and a two hour block at the beginning of each quarter.

Two – Prep, Set the Stage, and Get Spiritual

Planning is even more soul critical to me than the review process. I do all the same preparation activities (meal planning, clean my office, gather stuff, grab my review file), stage setting activities (eat a good meal, grab a fresh water, etc.) and spiritual activities (mediate, light my candles, etc.)

Three – Create / Update Spreadsheets

I know this may put me in the super-anal club in the minds of many, but each major project I touch has a spreadsheet. I have a master Excel Book to serve as my admin for my coaching practice, which includes a
I also have spreadsheets for each course I’ve created to plan the lessons and activities.

Critical to my planning process is creating spreadsheets for the coming year and updating them. Spreadsheets don’t have to be confusing, it’s just a way to organize information.  PROMISE.

Four – Answer the Questions

During the review process, I create a running list of questions that need answered or clarified. Now is the time I make decisions.

Five – State My Purpose

Write my purpose statement for each of my roles. Declare how I desire to feel as I execute each role. Yes, I write these down. Alchemy happens when you handwrite your goals and desires on paper.

Six – Get Cozy With My Calendar

I put all the big picture items on my calendar first. Trips on the books, holidays that mean days off or travel, and recurring meetings. I block off time each week for writing so that it remains a priority.

Then I look at those big dream things that require time. Do I want to release a new program? Do I want to finish my book, and, if so, when? Are there any retreats I want to attend? Have I committed to assisting anyone else on a project? Do I have any other appointments to plan for (medical, recurring client calls, group calls, etc.)?

If there are conflicts of any kind, then my personal life holds veto power.

Seven – Set Priorities

What is the number one thing I desire to experience? What is the number one thing I desire to create? What’s do I desire to shift about myself as a person? What do I want to accomplish career wise? How can I be a better partner?

What are my top three priorities for the coming quarter? (Yes, every quarter, I check in with myself and ask what’s important.)

This is also when I begin contemplating my WORD (or three) for the coming year.

Eight – Create An Action Plan

What are the steps I need to take to get from HERE to THERE? Any big project gets a handwritten action list that’s stored in my planner. I create tasks for longer-term future goals. For example, in 2016, I want to create a new program, yet it won’t be a priority until next spring…so I set a reminder in January to begin outlining it.

Nine – Close the Day and Celebrate

This is the kind of deep work that demands a celebration. A celebratory meal is usually on tap for the night. I also plan a date with myself in the following week, like a trip to the bookstore or meeting a friend for coffee.

Ten – Share

Most of the review and planning process is internal, and as an extrovert, it’s important for me to verbalize stuff. I share the big picture view of my plans with JB, not just to verbalize, but because he’s a brilliant strategist and can give me feedback, especially if he sees any holes in any of my plans.

Then, of course, there are a few others I may want to share with. For example, I’ve been writing letters about the creative process with a girlfriend, so I share some writing goals with her.

I only share my plans in a public manner when it’s closer to completion. For example, I am working on a book generally based on my blog posts that will be available before the holidays, so now I’m sharing that news with you.

My darling, nothing in life is certain. Creating a plan, however, will allow you to experience the kind of life you most desire. As you can see from my planning process, it doesn’t have to be stuffy or end up with you feeling  like you’re forcing yourself into a straitjacket.

Planning allows you the freedom and permission to pursue your desires. Planning means you are defining success on your terms.