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Patchwork Bridges
as a metaphor for Personal Growth Work
Hi, EFTer,
The other day, as I passed under what I would call a lovely example of Montreal's “patchwork bridges” (see below), I realized that what I was seeing was a good metaphor for personal growth work.
The bridge in question had at least 10 patches of different coloured cement for every time it has been repaired. I was driving on another patchwork bridge in between the one above me and the huge construction site below that will one day replace this whole complicated and inefficient section of roadway.
These bridges, which probably seemed like a good idea at the time of their conception and construction, are difficult upkeep and have become more troublesome as they age. Some are downright dangerous and they now cost us more than they’re worth. Often, they make our lives complicated.
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This external road system is very much like many of our unconscious mental and emotional adaptations – how we do certain things and why we do them the way we do. In most cases, we took on these habits and behaviours in childhood. Even if we did it in adulthood, it was always in a vulnerable moment, and our resources were limited. We were doing what we could with the resources we had available. Many of us are finding that the ways we’ve built for dealing with things are not optimal and are draining our resources.
So, back to my bridge analogy, this patched up older section of road is going to be replaced. The new highway is already under construction and has been for ages. In the meantime, we have to keep the existing bridges in a state of reasonable repair so we can continue to get from point A to point B however inefficiently.
The decision we have to make, and it's important to reassess this over and over again as we go along, is about how much of our resources, money, manpower, energy, equipment do we put into these old systems that are no longer serving us and destined to be removed and how much into building the new road.
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Keeping Our Balance
It’s the same for us as we build change within ourselves. We need to keep patching the old ways (that might mean continuing to do things that we know we don’t want to do any more or remaining in relationships that drain our resources) until the new ones are truly and fully functional. If we stop patching too soon and the bridges fall down, we may find ourselves without a road to drive on and that won’t do us any good.
For a while, we have to be prepared to expend twice as much energy and more resources until we have built the new infrastructure which includes on and off ramps and connectors between the old and the new systems. THEN, and only then, can we completely take down the old structures. In the meantime, there is no use beating ourselves up for maintaining these old bridges. We still need them and it’s more helpful to see it as a short term but necessary solution.
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Find out what’s stopping you from completing the new section of highway and whether you can safely move any faster. Put as many of your resources as you can into finishing it. You won’t take the old system down completely until you’ve tested the new system a few times and found it to be safe and sound. And this is just good sense.
I guess my message is about being patient and kind to yourself while you build the road to your new self. Understanding that it is a lot of work and you are doing the best you can with the resources, equipment and manpower you presently possess. It will eventually be easier to get where you want to go with less potholes and construction disruptions but right now you are a work in progress! Slow down, breathe deeply and drive safely.
And if you need some help building up or breaking down, EFT is an amazing tool for switching lanes. It would be my pleasure the support you in that.
Cyber hugs,
Kelly. xo
P.S. You can click here to get in touch.
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