Hi <<First Name>> and Happy Chinese New Year~
Why does it hurt so much the closer we get to success? I was career coaching a client who broke down in tears because she threw down one of the best auditions of her life for a role she was perfect for in a show that she loved. Why the tears? Because she CARED so much about the project and felt her dreams were inches away from coming true. The anticipation was breaking her heart.
This often happens when you really go for a dream goal and give it everything you've got. You feel as if you are putting your heart on the line! "Why should I care so much?" you ask.
To find out how I faced this very question in my own acting career, read on. I hope you enjoy my musings and thanks for being part of my tribe!
Love,
Sarah
Soon it was my turn to feel the feels. A callback for a dream role landed in my inbox the very next day. Just reading the email sent me into a tail spin. "OH MY GOD! I LOVE this show, this role, this creative team! Holy shit, If I got this job, it would be a vertical move in my career. I WANT this, and not only that, but I'm really, really RIGHT for this!!" And then I did what all experienced actors and wizened career coaches do, I FREAKED OUT!! Yup. My heart started racing, my breath got really shallow, my hands started shaking and mouth went dry. After 25 years in the business, I was right back to my first rodeo.
I simply couldn't calm down--for days and days.
It was wildly uncomfortable caring so much that I wanted to throw up or cry. But what was my alternative? Not care? Let go too soon and then underprepare so I'd have an excuse for failing?
I decided to go for it! I opted to lean in and channel my stress into hardcore preparation. I coached, rehearsed, practiced and paced. The day of the call back--I walked into the audition room and found myself standing face to face with three of the most celebrated artists working on Broadway today! I took a deep breath and I threw down my best, authentic, heartfelt--albeit nervous--performance. And at the end of the day--I felt genuinely proud of myself, knowing I gave a world class command performance for my artistic heroes.
Here's the deal, guys. I haven't heard anything from the show yet. Is that breaking my heart a little right now? Yes. But here's what I know. Not caring doesn't guarantee that I won't take a fall, but developing a resilient heart will ensure that I'll get back up again. If I get the role--I'll thrive. If I don't get the role--I'll thrive. Because I choose to.
As creative people who want to experience ourselves in full expression, we can't protect our hearts from pain by standing on the sidelines. The ticket to whole-hearted living (to quote Brene Brown) is living full out. It's daring to care, taking the leap and holding nothing back. Then, and only then, is it time to let go.
Go big or go home!
xox
Sarah
Where in your life can you dare to care a little bit more?
