This is an email with some alterations, I wrote a few years ago when I was still in New York, reading it today and after discussions with friends this weekend. I thought it would be a perfect topic to revisit for my blog.
This morning I was walking on the platform on the PATH train getting ready to catch the train to head into work I was listening to my ipod and I was listening to Group 1 (a Christian group) and debating rather I was going to bible study or if I was going to watch it on-line tonight.
I hear this lady scream or say words like help she fell, I look and I can still hear the woman screaming calling the person name..Daniel...Daniel, somebody help. At first I think it's a child that has fallen onto the tracks, so I drop my bags and I get on the ground and reach my arm out to try and have the child grab my hand, as I began to reach I see that it's a woman and not a child. At this moment so many thoughts were going through my head I'm inching closer to the end of the platform, extending my arm out. I'm thinking why isn't she moving, did she hurt her leg and can't move is she scared. Two men jump down beside her lift her up; I grab for her and pull her on the platform. Her eyes are open and she is seizing, I have her in my arms and she is shaking starting to foam a little, someone says keep her head up, don't let her swallow her tongue...at the same time her friend yells someone call 911, with lady in arm, I reach in my pocket to grab my phone, than the platform personnel come and says 911 has been called. All while this is going on, my headphones are still on my head and Group 1 is playing, at the same time I'm thinking I'm definitely going to bible study and then the holly spirit says pray, so I start praying internally at the same time the young lady which is in my age range eyes open and she starts to regain consciousness.
The train comes and so many people get on the train, as if nothing ever happened. Now I say that not because I was upset with the people, I do know that all of those people couldn't possibly help this woman...but it made me think about how many people just watched as the woman laid on the tracks and how out of all the men that were there only two jumped down to help the woman. I know everyone respond to crisis differently and we never know how we may react in certain situations, however I wonder if as people, we are just totally immune to different things...are we all just spectators, watchers versus doers.
I thought about my life and wondered if I was just watching my life go by versus doing things, being an active participant in my own life. I can honestly say yes sometimes I'm active and sometimes I'm not. Case in point last night I went to sleep around 8pm because I was tired, but also because I was a little sad. I slept hours of my life away because I was sad. Often times we say we want our life to be a certain way, but we don't do anything to change our current situation, sometimes we expect it to be given to us or fall from the sky. I know personally, I'm a reactor, but often I react in crisis situations, like trying to help the woman on the track, but what about just simply everyday. It made me think, do I need my back up against the wall or odds against me for me to act or perform at my best. I've told my sister in the past that she creates crisis situations and then try to pull herself out of it. Why do we do that to ourselves, why aren't we proactive majority of the time. One of my sayings to my sister is control the controllable often I have to take a step back and tell myself that.
In life we sometimes are the doers and sometimes we are the spectators, but what percentage of your life are you the spectator? How many trains pass you buy and you simply get on and continue the same routine, even if the destination isn’t where you really want to go? In the bible it talks about when God called certain people, they were busy doing work, being active. They were not just sitting idly by spectating. I charge you to get in and get involved in you life. Be a doer control the controllable. Since this situation years ago, I’ve worked on being more and more of a doer and not a spectator. I was a doer most of my life, as a kid, college, but something had changed, but in the end it truly boils down to choosing.
Back in NY a friend spoke something in my life that was honestly truly God sent. My friend said I was an investment, now I know you may say WHAT does that mean? Well for me it meant a lot, someone believe in me...my potential, my worth and they see something, that sometimes is hard for me to see in myself or I forget. I'm a commodity, I have a lot to offer in my career, to people and it is all what God has instilled in me I AM GOD INVESTMENT. My experiences in life are not for me; they are for someone else to learn. So I can't get sad because I'm in pain about something or if I do, I can only live in it for a moment. I have to find Joy in God, because happiness is temporary and contingent upon circumstances, but Joy is everlasting. I choose not to be a spectator of my life but a doer, a willing active participant.
So I end with saying, don't be a spectator of life, get in there and be active. You want to workout, do it. You want to take pictures, sing, write a proposal do it. WHATEVER IT IS. Take care of your instrument you only have one body, one life. Love it nourish it, feed it. Tell yourself you are wonderful and you deserve all of what God has in store for you. If you are not happy seek God about how to change your situation. Life is honestly too short to be sad all the time, disappointed, depressed or watching from the sidelines. This is the year and today is the day to choose differently.
Heart and Soul,
Candice Lenoir
https://www.facebook.com/candicelenoir
https://@candicelenoir
https://medium.com/@candicelenoir
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