A Journey of Empowerment  
Equine Assisted Therapy and DID

How she learnt to trust herself 

Dissociated Personality Disorder (DID), previously known as Multiple Personality Disorder, is a mental disorder that results in two or more distinct 'personalities' that show in a person's behaviour. These alternating personality states are then followed by memory impairment that cannot be explained by the usual forgetfulness. DID can be triggered by a traumatic life event, in this case, it was initiated as a form of protection.

This is a story of transformation, acceptance and how a 'sufferer' of DID learned to love herself.

The identity of this person remains anonymous for protection purposes.

When she first came to Spirit of the Phoenix, she felt isolated, unloved and misunderstood. The condition means she is unemployable, as she never knows who will be waking up in the morning! Certain situations can trigger a child like state that leads her to cope with challenges differently to that which society deems acceptable. Before Spirit of the Phoenix came into her life she was incredibly aware of this fact and as a result suffered low self-esteem, low confidence and lacking in communication skills. Relationships were strained as she felt that she would be a burden to others and that they could not cope with her emotional reactions. Their assumptions and expectations of 'normal' behaviour were becoming too much and she valued herself less and less.

Enter Red, Mac and Naomi...

Through Equine Assisted Therapy, Naomi led sessions with both Red and Mac to work on self love, communication and teamwork. The lack of judgement and pure truth from the horses created a setting in which she could thrive. Red and Mac's unconditional love and lack of expectation allowed her to open up in a non-discriminating, accepting environment. Through the challenges faced during the therapy sessions she learned coping mechanisms that now enable her to squash the triggers that send her into the protective behaviour states.

Together they created a memory book and videos, which allow her to tap into her experiences with the horses. Whenever she is feeling vulnerable, she is able to go back to that place of truth and stability. Enabling her to regain control and navigate her way through various social situations in the real world.

Through various emotional activities carried out at Spirit of the Phoenix, she has learnt her true self worth, improved her confidence and has established building blocks on which to grow.

She set many goals with Naomi, Red and Mac, the biggest of which was to ride Red. However, she wanted to be a certain weight beforehand. She therefore set herself the target to lose three stone, which she achieved in six months flat. The days on end spent under the duvet are a thing of the past as she now has the confidence to exercise outside, enjoying riding her bike and walking the dog. 

The tools she has gained from working with the horses have enabled her to attend social and family gatherings as well as maintain healthy interpersonal relationships. She requires far less support from others as she is now able to cope with the everyday pressures of life. She is taking on more and more responsibilities and now feels that she can help and support others in their difficulties.

Her view of her 'disability' is now that of a gift; it has served as protection for her in times of trouble. But most of all it has brought people and opportunities into her life that she would never have experienced without it.

In her own words, she now describes something that we can all strive to achieve,

"Everyone is unique. Through having my disability I have discovered that it is OK to be me. That even though I am divided within myself, that I am whole - and that is what I am proud of. Accepting all parts of myself and loving them. My disability has taught me that I am important and deserve to live, to have a life, and most of all enjoy it! That I can laugh and have a joke. Spirit of the Phoenix and Equine Assisted Therapy has revealed my sense of humour".

She offers one further piece of advice "Be yourself! Love yourself for who you are and your uniqueness!"
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