One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

• A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg!  Even though they know you are slightly cracked.
• Best friends know how weird you are but still choose to be seen with you in public.
• Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.
• Good friends don’t let you do stupid things… alone.
• We are Best Friends.  Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up…. After I finish laughing.

Friends are so wonderful.  Most of us have quite a few friends.  Some closer than others.  Women do seem to be wired to truly “need” friends.  They lift us up.  They encourage us.  They listen when we need to cry or rant.  They know how to offer support when our husbands can’t seem to wrap their heads around the female mind.  They make us laugh.  And sometimes cry.

Why is it that the quickest way to make me feel like a 13 year old again, is for one of my friends to do or say something that makes me feel irrational, jealous, or just plain hurt?  I really hate it when that happens.  My mind usually knows that nothing is wrong.  I probably just read way too much into that text message.  I’m sure she didn’t mean to ditch me for someone else.  I’m sure there is a reason she didn’t invite me to that event…

I’ve struggled for years with these internal struggles which my friends unintentionally create.  I hate it.  Make it stop!  It tears me up for days sometimes as I have conversations in my mind and nurse an offense that was never intended.  I’m over 40 now.  Why do I still feel like a teenager?

If you have these moments in your life too, ladies, I may have an answer.  “Be a friend.” 
Yep.  I know.  You are.  I am. 

The relationships that God created for us can have enormous benefits.  But people are sinful.  We are sinful.  Relationships take work. (Uggh!)  And since we can only be responsible for our own actions, “Be a friend.”

I finally got myself in the mindset that no matter what happens, I would simply be a friend.  I would be there for them when I could.  I would love and support and encourage to the best of my ability.  And however they reciprocated that friendship would be a benefit.  I wouldn’t worry when they didn’t respond as I might have. (That’s not who they are.)  I wouldn’t be offended when they didn’t think to include me. (Maybe they knew I wouldn’t have a good time?)
There is great reward in being there for others when you are able.  It’s a way to serve our Lord.   But love also breeds love and appreciation, and let me tell you… it has made for some stronger relationships. 

Of course I had to do some growing up.  (Ephesians 4:13)  And I still slip back into those old feelings at times.  But remembering I have one friend who will never leave my side and loves me no matter what… who is with me at my low points and my high points, who sits next to me at church and at the doctor, who watches my kids (all 4 of them) and is with me on that 4am flight.. is fairly fabulous!  How amazing that Jesus was the best of friends to me and gave his life that I might live and love!

Ask the Lord

Dearest Friend,
Thank you for always being there for me.  For being my best friend.  For understanding me.  For loving me deeply.  For giving me that boost when I need it.  You have blessed me with many friends on earth.  Help me to be the best friend I can be to them.  Help me to love them and be there for them, even when I’m not feeling the most loved.  Help me to be understanding and mature in my friendship so that I don’t have to suffer the hurts which my imagination can create at times.  Love covers all sins.  Thank you for loving me that much.
 Amen.

Valerie Johnson
Amazing Grace, Portland, OR