“Where were the men? The only man really there was the man with the gun”
— NSW MP Fred Nile, on the supposed lack of courage displayed by the Sydney siege victims
Abroad: Al-Qaeda claims Paris attacks
THE GIST. Al-Qaeda has claimed responsibility for the Paris attacks last week. They say it was retaliation for insulting the Prophet Mohammad.
RECAP. Three armed men terrorised Paris over several days, killing 12 members of the Charlie Hebdo staff, four people in a Kosher supermarket and a policewoman.
GUESS WHO'S BACK. You've probably heard of Al-Qaeda, the terrorist group founded by Osama Bin Laden. Responsible for September 11 and the 2005 London bombings, they had a good 14-year run as the baddest guys on the planet before Islamic State took the title. The Paris attacks were claimed by the branch in Yemen - a small country on the Arabian Peninsula that has been a key battleground in the War on Terror (i.e. it's a favourite destination for US drones).
MEANWHILE. Charlie Hebdo published its first issue since the attacks, featuring Mohammad on the front cover. Muslims have reacted angrily in several countries, with protests in the Philippines and media criticism in places like Jordan, Algeria and Iran. Charlie they aren't.
THE GIST. Yesterday the government scrapped plans to cut Medicare rebates for short GP visits. This is the second Medicare backdown for the government, the first being the co-payments drama last year.
FRESH WOUNDS. At the moment, doctors get $37.05 from the government for every patient visit that lasts under 10 minutes. The proposed changes would have cut this to $16.95, to encourage doctors to spend "more time with their patients." The plan was to slice the payment again mid-year, down to $11.95.
CONFUSION EPIDEMIC. The reason given for the backflip was "misinformation that is causing confusion for doctors and patients." This contagious confusion apparently spread right around the government: Tony Abbott publicly supported the day before the announcement - saying that emergency departments would cope, despite their long waiting times. Another Minister was on the record just yesterday morning saying the cut would stop "turnstile medicine." Sounds like a bad case of foot in mouth.
FIGHTING FIT. The backdown will be a shot in the arm for QLD Premier Campbell Newman, who called an election earlier this month, but is worried about catching unpopularity germs from his mates in Canberra. Despite the government's indecisiveness, many punters agree that scrapping the proposal is the right move. From the good doctor Brian Owler, Australian Medical Association President: "I think clearly common sense has prevailed."
An honest living. A Norwegian assassin has found himself in trouble with the law after accepting a contract to kill. Not for the murder, though - he never went through with it, and the authorities couldn't prove he was going to. Instead, they charged him with fraud for ripping off the poor client.
Nerd police. Islamic State has a new enemy in the form of 'hacktivist' group Anonymous. In an announcement reminiscent of Liam Neeson's finest work, the group has warned the terrorists that "We will track you down - every last one - and we will kill you." Best known for causing mild annoyance to companies by hacking their websites, Anonymous has now decided to take on a much more serious task - causing mild annoyance to Islamic State by hacking their social media accounts. Your move, terrorists.
Year of the snakes. A Chinese woman has exacted revenge on her cheating husband by cutting off his penis. Twice. In Round One she did the deed with a pair of scissors while the man slept. After having his manhood sewn back on in hospital, the scorned woman snuck into his room and lopped it off again. Apparently she threw it out the window onto the street below, from which it has not been recovered. Doctors think it might have been claimed by a hungry stray dog.
