— AFP Assistant Commissioner Tim Morris, reassuring everyone about Australia's new metadata-retention laws.
Home | Terrorism tough talk
THE GIST. Tony Abbott has announced a new counter-terrorism strategy, designed to fight the "worsening" threat of terrorism at home.
WHY. Yesterday the PM's Department released the 'Review of Australia's Counter-terrorism Machinery', which talked up a "new, long-term era of heightened terrorism threat". That made it two terrorism reports in two days for the PM - on Sunday he was on-hand for the release of the Sydney Siege inquiry, about which he said "plainly, the system failed."
WHAT. Yesterday Abbott said it is no longer acceptable to "allow bad people to use our good nature against us." Don't worry if that sounds a bit abstract: Tones announced a bunch of practical policies to keep our good natures unsullied, including revoking citizenships of foreign fighters, cracking down on "hate preachers" and adding a new level to the terror alert system, called 'super duper scary high'.
WHO. Bill Shorten indicated support for the government. The day was not entirely without critical thinking, though: human rights lawyer Julian Burnside said something about Tones playing on "community fears" for "political gain", and national security expert Bret Walker doesn't think we should "trade away liberties for short-term protection." Their Team Australia memberships were promptly revoked.
Abroad | HSBC behaving badly
THE GIST. British bank HSBC is being investigated by Swiss authorities as part of an inquiry into money-laundering and tax-evasion.
THE CLAIM. Data leaked in 2010 shows that HSBC helped over 1000 clients avoid hundreds of millions of pounds worth of tax. English authorities decided not to prosecute the bank, although Lord Macdonald, former director of public prosecutions, said the decision was "seriously flawed" and that HSBC had been engaged in "serious criminal activity."
THE SPIN. HSBC took out an advert to apologise for the "painful experience" and promised that its Swiss operations had been "completely overhauled" over the last few years. A week later the bank's CEO was forced to admit he himself had millions of dollars in a Swiss bank account, held by a company in Panama. Totally legit though.
THE FORM. HSBC has a distinguished history of unorthodox corporate governance. The bank was fined $2 billion in 2012 for a widespread money laundering programme, with some of its more exotic clients including Mexican drug cartels, a Saudi bank with terrorist links, and the governments of Iran and North Korea.
Small-talk
Head hunters. Former Australian cricketers Glenn McGrath and Brett Lee are embroiled in a scandal after pictures emerged of them posing with dead animals on a hunting safari in South Africa. One former fan captured the general sentiment, saying "All we demand is that our favourite sportspeople share our morals exactly. Is that too much to ask?"
Riyadi Vice. Saudi Arabia's Morality Police (a real thing) have arrested several young men for being in a "compromising situation with their dance and shameful movements" at a birthday party. The incident was later revealed to be a scene in the upcoming Saudi-backed film, Footloose 2: More Sharia, Less (Kevin) Bacon.
Extra-curricular. Several Rugby and NRL players have been charged with leading a cocaine trafficking syndicate. On the possibility of getting sacked from his club, one of the accused said, "I regret that my professional and personal lives can't co-exist, but in the end your job always comes first - so if Footy has to go, then so be it."
The word
Foppery noun. Excessive and foolish concern with clothes and appearance: Despite the efforts of some malcontents to divert attention to boring social issues, the Oscars was once again a successful celebration of all that we love about Hollywood foppery.
