I like to plan ahead, I work out journeys and timings and get everywhere 20 minutes early “just in case”, I always research an area before visiting (be it holidays, day trips, work) so I KNOW I haven’t missed out on anything. I like to sit in an aisle seat, “just in case”. I like to visualise how things are going to be and mentally rehearse my part so I know I get it right. I’m not someone who enjoys too much change, I thrive, like a lot of people, when I feel safe and comfortable and planning everything helps me feel safe and comfortable.

 

Sooooo losing my home for hynobirthing after five years of teaching at Born and setting up somewhere new has not only been incredibly sad but it’s been something of a challenge. Luckily I started putting down roots at The Well Garden over 18 months ago when I met the founder Lily and recognised a kindred spirit, I’ve since been sharing a combination of CBT, hypnosis and mindfulness there and loving it.

When Lily mentioned she was thinking of setting up another room for workshops in the always expanding Garden I jumped at the chance to bring Hypnobirthing to Hackney Downs. It turns out that planning the new room and using the opportunity to look at everything I do afresh has been a blessing.

 

 

The last few months have taught me an important lesson. I can’t control everything. In fact I have a sneaky suspicion that trying to control everything stifles creativity and potential. I notice it in work and in life.

I’ve been asked many times about teaching hypnobirthing, “don’t you get bored teaching the same class over and over again?”. Here’s the thing, it’s not the same class over and over again. I prefer teaching in small groups so I get to know everyone. Everybody brings their own experiences, expectations, anxieties and desires and I’ve learned over the years not to try too hard to control classes and have it be the way I think it should. There’s much more insight gained when “my” parents lead the way and show me what they need. The benefit of experience allows me to create this freedom so I can ensure we don’t go too far off track while responding to what’s going on for them. It means we cover the material I know it’s important to but in a way that’s meaningful for them. It makes for far more interesting sessions for us all.

 

In other words I’ve had to learn to “let it gooooooo!” (cue the Frozen song in all the parents’ heads!!!). For a self confessed control freak it’s a balance between preparing and letting go and I think doing one allows for the other. I have a phrase written on the wall in my kitchen

 

“Over prepare and then go with the flow”

 

It works with work, with life and with birth… In a week that has seen one of my hypnobirthing couples move from a planned home birth to a hospital and another unexpectedly welcome their son in the bath at home on their own - this seems particularly relevant!

Oh and we’re halfway through our first hypnobirthing course at my new home and yes it already feels like home!