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Conflict Resolution
By Caroline
Today, I would like to talk about how I use the Energy Leadership™ chart to resolve conflicts. Some of you are familiar with this process. I love this tool; it’s very empowering and produces amazing results.
There were two recent situations where I consciously used it.
1/ The first time occurred when we were getting our rental car at the airport. It was late at night, we were tired and wanted to go, but we encountered an issue that made our reservation unusable … or so the rental agent said. It didn’t make any sense to me. We just needed to make some adjustments and all would be fine. So I tried, with my positive attitude and my bright smile, to enroll him in finding a way to make it work, but he clearly wasn’t willing and was borderline rude. This time, I remembered my energy chart and realized there was no point in going down that rabbit hole … I couldn’t gain anything engaging further with him. So I decided to remove myself from his negative energy (conflict – level 2) and go regroup somewhere else. Then, I started to look at the other agents, examine their demeanor, and I noticed a man who had been next to our negative clerk. He was further away, and I went to him. I nicely and truthfully asked for his help in finding a solution. I didn’t loose my cool, I didn’t get impatient, I simply believed there had to be a way and he was the one to find it. I told him so and he felt empowered (level 5 – win-win). After a while, he found the solution, and, after thanking him profusely, we were on our way.
In summary, if you enter into a conversation with someone in “conflict – level 2,” chances are you’ll go down in 2 with them. From there, nothing gets done, and anger and defiance are the result. But, if you bring the other person up, you can enroll them and create positive results, leaving both parties feeling empowered. I love this level 5 energy, I love creating win-wins.
2/ My second example is very different. I was going to a time share presentation (yes, for curiosity and fun), and I was ready for battle. When the “closer” came to us, I had my fun! He made the mistake of coming to us not knowing why we had said “no,” not doing his homework. He also kept us well over the two hours we had agreed to. So I used my powerful “energy 2 / conflict,” but without the emotion or anger. I mentioned the facts (didn’t do his homework, not about the money, time is up and we fulfilled our end, they’re out of integrity by not honoring their commitment), all the while staying very calm. He tried again, not hearing a word of what I said, so I icily stopped him and said I wasn’t playing his game anymore, I needed to leave right now! He stood up furiously and left without a word. And we were finally able to leave. I was jubilant, it had been so much fun!
So here, I used my conflict energy to accomplish something, I didn’t feel the emotions of it, and I had a blast.
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This is to say that each energy level has its place. The negative ones are not necessarily “bad,” they just tend to drain us, to hurt us long term if we stay in them too long; but, we can choose to go there and the experience is then very different. An “energy 1 – victim thinking” can allow us to rest a bit and “energy 2 – conflict” can get you out of trouble with a quick burst of adrenaline. The key is to use them when you want, to choose it, not to let them rule your life. I love the Energy Leadership™ tool, and the more I use it, the more I realize its power.
In order to have you share in the fun and empowerment, I am offering it to you for only $180 (regularly $290). This includes the online assessment (about 20 minutes) and the 90-minutes debrief session (on the phone with me). The debrief will show you the distribution of your own 7 energy levels. Knowing this will allow you to develop your positive energies while removing some of your negative ones. This allows you to release stress, strengthen relationships, build financial success, and find fulfillment in all areas (work, home, personal, social). It will re-energize your life!
Happy summer!
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Energy Leadership™
(online assessment & on the phone debrief)
$180
(good through August 15, 2015)
(302) 547 1560
or
Info@ALaCarteCoaching.com
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