If you are going to have judgment about people, why not base it on how their presence affects you? It’s easier to figure out than what their motivations are, which is what the judgments of good and bad boil down to most of the time. Or, instead of judging people, you could discern who is more strengthening for you to have around and whose presence weakens you, and decide with whom you will spend your time based on that information.
The difference between judgment and discernment is one of opinion versus fact. To say that someone is good or bad based on their actions, to continue to chew on those actions, to perhaps even take their actions personally, is judgment. To see that someone has a behavior that you do not enjoy and to simply decide to not put yourself in the way of such a behavior is discernment. The latter implies acceptance, non-attachment, and empowerment.
Try to use your discernment rather than judgment today. If someone cuts you off in traffic today, instead of calling them a jerk, back off and let them go ahead, since they are obviously not conducting themselves safely and it would be wiser to be out of their line of damage. If someone treats their partner in a way that you would not want to be treated, bless both of them and rejoice in the fact that you are not their partner. If you hear about a colleague’s poor behavior at a conference, remind yourself that you were not there and that this has nothing to do with you, and focus back on those things that are your legitimate concern.
By utilizing your discernment instead of your judgment, you take the negative ego out of the equation and put the power back in the hands of your free will. You give yourself the opportunity to use your energy for those activities that truly concern you, and you maintain your integrity. Life is more peaceful when you let go of the judgment.
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