Update from Perth Australia:

Update:
           
            I made it down here, ‘Down Under’ to Perth Australia and am finally doing my YWAM DTS (Youth with a Mission – Discipleship Training School) After 11 years of desiring this for my life, I’m here and I’m seeking God in a whole new way. In this so far I’m realizing how my heart is divided and not fully committed to God the way I thought it once was. I see that I’m selfish and often do not do what I know I am called to do and then pursue my own ways, and my desires without involving God or asking what he has for me.
 
            Not saying all my desires are bad, many are very good. But I see that God is a relational God and desires relationship/friendship with us and we, as people do not always view him in that way. Many times I am not genuinely a true or actual friend, and if God is real, what I seek is to believe that God is true and is pursuing my heart and friendship. I seem to be the one that messes up and falls into apathy and depression at times; I set out to do something and do not choose or even remember to include him in my pursuits.
 
            These first 2 weeks here have been quite challenging. I find I fall into the same patterns of broken feelings and thoughts of rejection that I have for many years now. I used to blame people for not choosing to Love me; However, this seems to be a continual pattern so I conclude that the inner problem must be within me. The weird vibes and feelings of rejection and hatred cannot possibly come from many people around me, it must be from my soul, my stubborn heart. Humility is something I need to discover, and a gentle spirit is a way of being I need to pursue.
 
            I just had a meeting with a teacher/sister in my DTS Medical School and one valuable principal I walked away with is to discern peoples Boundaries. I’ll say out right honestly that I often do not respect others boundaries. In a sense I view them as a conservative bubble that I choose to reject. After our conversation I realize that as a result of my breaking someone’s boundaries I cause a break in our communication and in turn our Relationship. It has always been a struggle I consistently habituate in the realm of respecting other people’s boundaries; and it’s caused great distress and diseased relationships in my world in past years. I believe that God has this season as a time of growth ad completion, that these lessons will grow me into a stronger communicator and better lover of men and women.  
 
            I’ve been listening to Joel Osteen these last few months and really feel growth and “Gods Favor” open up to me as I listen and dwell on Godly teachings. I want to share these with you and am attaching a Dropbox link below for you to open and download to listen to as well. I believe some great sources of hope and encouragement are found in these messages and invite you to listen to them for yourselves.
 
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/tluc61zr7ab1mf5/AAB098stlyiNkFOZxkMmaMB2a?dl=0