“If you have ADHD as a parent, there’s a 70% chance your child will, too. (And many parents are ultimately diagnosed with ADHD because they recognized in themselves similar symptoms to their child’s symptoms.)

 

With ADHD or other executive function issues, "life is 2 to 3 times harder."
 

~ Roberto Olivardia, Ph.D., Harvard Medical, clinical instructor, psychiatry; private practice in Lexington, Massachusetts. Quoting from his teleclass for the Institute for Challenging Disorganization.
 

The “2 to 3 times” harder caught my ear.

What’s the practical translation of this?

Take staying on top of laundry. Laundry often triggers a call to me (for virtual organizing, sometimes deeper coaching conversations about life, limits, running a household, doing for you and more).

Managing one load – it’s a 10 step process! Gathering, sorting, sizing up a load, transferring, unloading, folding, putting away, and asking for help sometimes! Criss-crossing loads is even more pieces to track and organize.

And this is only in the background to an already full day!  

Realizing it’s not “one thing” but seeing the smaller steps is part of what makes this “2-3 times harder.”

It’s 2-3 times harder to juggle the pieces; others can do this in their minds, but with ADHD, it’s difficult.

Try organizing the pieces and parts (steps) outside your mind … Yes, it takes more time.

“Outside your mind” strategies include: making a picture of the process, a mind map, list, chart, talking it through aloud, and so forth.
 

Other activities you may find difficult:

Getting systems and strategies that work for how you think is a useful solution. And as you get consistent in using them, you will prove to yourself that you can do this.
 

The other big piece of this puzzle is how we get in our own way.

What do you do to cope with surprises? How well do you switch gears during the day (or do you switch too much)? How do you disengage from the big emotional and personal issue or problem that lands in the middle of the workday? What strategies do you use to deal with accompanying anxiety (60%+ accompanies an ADHD diagnosis)? And what about those communication difficulties – is it you, the other or both?

Here’s what I know works for me… and how I remember it.

After that beginning rush of energy which launches us into the new season, I would like you to pause and consider doing things a little bit differently.

I’ll give you a start at how in the suggestions below.

The good news is that we can retrain our brains, once we are aware we want to do things differently.  All I am suggesting today is a pause to become more aware and decide what’s next. You don’t have to do it yet.

Think about the answers to some of these questions below, while you’re waiting on an appointment, eating breakfast alone, taking a coffee break, on Facebook, taking a walk, journaling, chatting with a friend, or working it through with an organizing coach.

If you have only a minute: look for the section that describes your main role.

If you have more than a few minutes:  make someone else's day easier by sharing.

*1968 song released by Aretha Franklin

 

If you are a parent of a graduating student this coming year

1. What do I want for my senior’s last year in school or at home with us full time?
2. What do I want to share, teach, give or gift? What life skills, knowledge or wisdom?
3. As our children make their own way, how will my spouse and I reconnect?
4. And how about me: what’s next in my life? Is my life full enough? Too full? Not full with the right stuff?

Related articles:
Launching Your Child – book recommendation
Letting Go of Your High School Senior [blog]
 

Household Manager

1. 

   Life is chaotic. How can I create or change our morning and evening routines so life is calmer for all of us?
2. Where do I need help; I know I’m doing too much. And how will I suggest it?
3. What would make our home feel more organized, comfortable, and calmer? Where’s my sanctuary?
4. My days fly by. How can I keep better track of what I’ve done and plan to do?
5. What life skills do I want to teach my children and/or grandchildren?  Problem solving on their own? Money, bill, saving, managing credit cards? Household: cooking, laundry, cleaning? Values, fun, or general life wisdom?

Related articles:
Bill paying systems
How to choose your best tool to organize daily routines
Time: Your Exercise Plan
 

At work: self-employed, business, academia

1. My time is splintered. What will I change?
2. My home office: how can I make it better, more productive, more inspiring?
3. What do I want to finish by the end of the year?
4. I’m really productive at work when I can _____________. How can I make this happen more often?
5. How will I decide among several great opportunities at my doorstep?
6. One responsibility I'd like to give up so that I have more time for _________________ is ________________________.

Related articles:
Figure out the flow of your time first [a series of practical time management ideas]
Do you micro-manage?

YOU

1. I really need to find a new ... doctor, naturopath, therapist, coach … So I can deal with ______________.
2. I’m a good person. People say that I  ______________________________.
3. Diet, sleep, quality, alcohol. Medication. Movement. Systems/habits. 12 step program. What works? What’s missing?
4. It feels like everyone else comes first too often, as much as I love them all. What can I do for me, to balance it out?

Related articles:
Organize for more energy
Foundational habits (sleep, etc.)


You now have the key questions. Choose a question, remember it or write it down and next time you’re waiting on an appointment or taking a walk, consider some answers.

What would be a comfortable first step to begin a change? What’s preventing you from finding or taking that comfortable first step?


There’s another gift here: discovering how to take that first, comfortable step and figuring how to knock down the obstacles are two strategies you can take and apply to other situations!

Our topics this year included:

In person * Virtual organizing * Coaching for ADHD, time or transitions