I started consulting as a Nurtured Heart Approach (NHA®) trainer because I believe each of us has unique inner gifts to share with the world. I want to:
- inspire educators, parents and other caregivers
- celebrate inner resources, and
- share the journey of learning and living the Nurtured Heart Approach.
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October is School Principals Month and an ideal opportunity to recognize the importance of school leaders. Thank you, principals, for your courageous support as your school adopts the Nurtured Heart Approach and other positive practices. You're working long hours, answering to a lot of people, and in many cases learning right along with your staff. This newsletter is intended to honor the work you do to foster relationships and help others SHINE!
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Qualities of Effective Leaders
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Social-Emotional Intelligence is at the top of many lists of leadership qualities. In a demanding, results-oriented, data-driven culture, we may be tempted to cut corners in an effort to raise test scores. Please honor your self-care as a model for your followers. Take time to affirm your values and reflect on the evidence of your compassion, vision, and efforts to build community. If teachers are telling me that they want to be spoken to with NHA language, I suspect the same may be true for school leaders. You get to set the tone for generously giving and graciously receiving recognition.
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The Wisconsin Department of Public Instruction promotes equity throughout the Characteristics of Effective Schools, stating: “The practice of educational equity should permeate everything that happens in the school.” NHA supports that mission. With our focus on seeing individuals and cultivating strong relationships, NHA can permeate all aspects of the school as well.
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Recognitions
Many of us are socialized to speak with people in positional power with a sense of dread and apprehension. Given our DNA tendency to be on guard, we are drawn to negativity and need to learn to accept positivity. Much of our anxiety when being complimented or praised rests in large part to our waiting for a follow-up request or critique. It’s easy to discount recognition when it is used as the buffer for bad news.
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Honor inner wealth
with evidence
and truthful
authenticity.
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Absolutely keep making those positive phone calls home to nurture the hearts of kids and parents. While I'm all for healthy disagreement and respectful conflict, we make little progress when we are at odds with one another.
I share a couple of recognitions here that acknowledge the inner wealth of parents. Remember authentic focus on inner wealth. Make it you!
- Thank you for your courage, strength, and willingness to collaborate with me.
- You are showing your love and commitment to your children by taking time for this call and by coming school to meet with us.
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- You know, I bet that's something you've been thinking for a while now. I appreciate that you brought this to my attention. I know it takes time to make a phone call like this.
- I value you for your thoughtful input and feedback.
- Sammy shows integrity because you model high standards in a loving and supportive way.
- You had a choice about taking this call just like Jessie has choices. It means a lot to be working together.
- I really appreciate how you've helped me see this in a new way.
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The first few minutes of meetings...
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More than likely you take a moment at the beginning of meetings to acknowledge people present for the sacrifices they made to attend and the commitment that they are demonstrating by being in the room.
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This important modeling sets the focus on appreciation. In our fast-paced world, I applaud you for taking that time to slow down and SEE people. Many leaders want NHA language to become more common among adults. It takes intentional practice to foster these shifts.
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Here are three brief activities that give everyone in the room a chance to highlight their feelings as a meeting gets underway. Please honor the option to pass as needed.
- Take a collective breath. Ask the group to individually visualize something that went well so far in the day. Offer a few moments to turn and talk.
- Provide a scrap of paper or sticky-note for each group member. Ask them to state an intention for the meeting. Share out, and remember to reflect at the end of the meeting.
- Have each person choose a type of fruit (vegetable, climate/weather pattern, song, etc.) that represents a corresponding feeling s/he has about the topic at hand.
The idea here is to take regular steps to utilize simple, efficient techniques to create potentially potent opportunities to share. For a growing list of "opener ideas" click here.
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Thank YOU
I am grateful for the opportunities to serve school communities. Many of the administrators on this mailing list have welcomed me into their buildings to provide:
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- NHA training to teachers and parents
- Classroom visits to energize adults and students
- Appreciative coaching
- Consultation for ongoing staff development and community building
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Thank you for incorporating NHA into your leadership repertoire. Your recognitions of students, staff, parents, yourself and others are important acts of compassion that support your vision for a successful school.
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My intention is to publish regular newsletters, each time with a specific focus group in mind. While I aim to provide nuggets useful to any NHA practitioner, this Newsletter is NOT a substitute for NHA training. Subscribe now!
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