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Some of us struggle with being stuck in the PAST. We allow past mistakes to fill us with shame, regret or condemnation. Some of us struggle with being stuck in the FUTURE. We reach into tomorrow with worry, fear or anxiety.
But then there are some of us who struggle most with being stuck in the PRESENT. Who we are and what we have just doesn't seem to make us happy.
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One of the primary ways we get stuck in the present is when we fall into the comparison trap. This is especially easy to do because of social media.
Today, everyone is carefully curating their own reality that they want everyone else to see. It's a false reality because most people only show the highlight reel from their life. We judge our rehearsals against everyone else's performance. Every time we log into Facebook or Instagram, we're seeing everyone's highlight reel and comparing that to our day-to-day life.
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"For we would never dare to compare ourselves with people who have based their worth on self-commendation. They check themselves against and compare themselves with one another. It just shows that they don’t have any sense!" - 2 Corinthians 10:12
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When we compare, we begin to think things like:
- What I have isn't that great (what he has is better)
- Who I am isn't enough (I wish I were more like her)
- I'm not where I want to be (I wish I could be there)
- I'm not happy with my life (everyone else is living the life I wish I had)
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We then find ourselves in a vicious cycle of COMPARE and DESPAIR. If we're working, we log on to Facebook and see pictures of friends who are spending time with their kids. If we're relaxing at home, we see pictures of other people working on projects.
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DESPAIR is what we feel when we look at our life and think that every day is going to be just like yesterday or the one before that. It's that discouragement that comes when we don't like where we're at in life but we don't think that anything is going to change.
Social media can be helpful to stay in touch with friends but it can also feed some huge insecurities in our life. It's not natural to see 20 of our best friend's achievements before we've even had breakfast! We just weren't designed to consume so much information about so many people on a constant basis!
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"Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else." - Galatians 6:4
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Don't get caught in the comparison trap! Stop comparing your rehearsals to everyone else's performance!
Evaluate your life and see what you need to modify or eliminate to help you adjust your perspective. Perhaps some of you need to take a break from social media or stop hanging around people that feed your insecurities and comparison. There is an enemy of our soul that tries to steal our joy but Jesus came to give us "life to the full." (John 10:10).
Appreciate the gift of this present moment that God has given to you. My present moment is God's gift...to ME. Your present moment is God's gift...to YOU!
When you get stuck in the cycle of COMPARE – DESPAIR, remind yourself of this truth:
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 UNSTUCK TIP #3:
Who I am, what I have, where I'm at...is ENOUGH!
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DISCUSSION GUIDE
- Growing up, what were some areas of your life that you struggled with fitting in? (sports, fashion, academics, etc).
- Have you ever had to work hard to meet someone else's expectations? How did it affect your relationship with that person?
- What are some of the things you've attained/achieved that you thought would make you happy but proved to be underwhelming?
- Are you exhausted or broke from trying to keep up with your friends or neighbors? If so, explain.
- Albert Einstein was famous for saying, "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid." What is the danger of comparing ourselves against others?
- How does social media effect how you view who you are and what you have?
- Ecclesiastes 4:6 says, "Better one handful with contentment than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind." What does this verse say to you?
- PRAY - Ask God to help you break free from the cycle of Compare and Despair. Pray for one another as you encourage one another and help each other become more thankful for the life God has already blessed us with.
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