“They said, “Moses permitted a man TO WRITE A CERTIFICATE OF DIVORCE AND SEND her AWAY.” But Jesus said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.” Mark 10:4-5, NAS95.

Jesus boiled down the issue of poor relationships in marriage to one simple statement. Relationships go bad because the heart gets hard. Of course there are a lot of reasons for this, but really there are just a few key ones. 

Our heart's go hard when we choose not to forgive. In fact not only our hearts are affected, but every aspect of our spiritual life as well. Since the essence of Christianity is boiled down to one all encompassing act of forgiveness, we can never experience the fullness of Christ without completely forgiving all things and all others. 

Secondly, our hearts go hard when we stop becoming vulnerable to those we are in relationship with. When we choose to protect our hearts from those we are committed to love, our hearts suffer. Jesus knew He would suffer from the brokenness of humanity, and especially those He was closest to. They all denied and forsook Him in His darkest hours, yet he continued to entrust Himself to them for their sake. 

Lastly, our hearts grow hard when we choose self over others. Jesus quotes from the beginning, "the two shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24). We cannot choose ourselves over our love for our spouse because we are choosing ourselves over ourselves in essence. When we tear the fabric of oneness for the sake of saving ourselves, we lose ourselves as well.  

To be a Valentine forever, we choose the pain and blessing of love over all other things. This insures a healthy relationship as well as a healthy heart. Forgive; stay vulnerable; seek oneness in the other. These will keep you in love for a lifetime. 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Tuesday