Happy Thursday!
A couple of weeks ago I drove down to San Diego to lecture at Bastyr University. I’d been asked to do a presentation there by Dr. Lisa Perry, a valued colleague and instructor at Bastyr. I did this a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it.
The class started at 5:30, so to allow for traffic, I left at 2:30 to give myself two hours to get there and an hour to eat and chill for a bit.
I just got a new iPhone, so I decided to use that Waze navigation app, perhaps you’ve heard of it?
Anyway, the So Cal traffic was thick on Interstate 5 and I wondered if I would make it on time. Then the app told me to take Route 73, a turn-off that I wasn’t familiar with. I figured, what the heck?
Turns out Route 73 is a toll road. Now here is Southern CA, we don’t like paying tolls to drive on the freeways. That’s for folks back east and apparently, folks in Orange County as well. I’d never been on a toll road, and it occurred to me that I didn’t have any change, so if I had to stop and pay a toll, they were going to have to give me change for a 20. I was a little nervous wondering if they took credit cards. I was peeved that Waze put me on a toll road.
Well, guess what, on tolls roads they don’t make you stop for your chump change anymore, now they just take a picture of your car and send you a bill.
Once I got over the indignation of having to pay a toll, I noticed that the toll road was actually pretty nice. It had lots of trees by the side of the road and there was hardly any traffic. Turns out, it got me to my destination more quickly than I thought. Just in time to eat a burrito.
The next day I discovered two things: One, that there is a setting on the Waze app to not to take you on toll roads and my setting was on “Go for it”. Two, the toll I had to pay online was 7 bucks.
After thinking about it, I decided it was worth paying the 7 bucks to have a nicer ride and to get me there more quickly with less stress. Why not?
One of the smartest things I ever did with my money was to pay a gardener to cut my grass, front and back. He’s a mow, blow and go kinda guy, for 10 bucks a week. What used to take me 3 hours to do, he does in half an hour. It seems like a no-brainer, yet, it took me a long time to make the decision to do it.
I knew a guy who lost his wife to cancer and left him with two little girls. He told me that he couldn’t keep up with cleaning his house. I suggested that he hire a housekeeping service to come in and clean on a regular basis. He said “I don’t feel good about that. I should be able to clean my own house.” He had dark circles under his eyes.
Why do we feel that we need to struggle? Doesn’t life have enough of that already? Why not let it be easy if it can? Why not spend the 10 bucks or 7 dollars if you can swing it to make the going a little easier? Why not ask for help or say “yes” to the easier way?
I bump into this all the time in my business. People come in and tell me “I’ve thought about hypnotherapy for a long time but I just felt I should be able to handle this problem by myself. Now, I just can’t deal with it anymore.”
What is this ethos we have that says we can’t ask for help or hire a housekeeper or a gardener or a hypnotherapist?
If you believe life has to be a big long struggle, it probably will be. But what if you believed you could make it through with grace and ease and a minimum of struggle? If you believe that you'll have to scratch and dig and work your fingers to the bone, than there's a good chance that you will do that and end up with bony fingers. However, I’ve known more than a couple of people who have told me “I’m not rich, but I don’t worry or struggle with money. I know I'll always have what I need.”
Yesterday I was rushing around so I told my kids “I’m going to take a shower. While I’m in there, can you please make lunch?” This is the first time I’ve asked them to do that. Why not? When I got out they had made chicken melt sandwiches with a side of tomato slices topped by mozzarella cheese, sprinkled with pepper and drizzled with olive oil. “Sorry Dad,” they said “We couldn’t find any fresh basil”.
Why not get comfortable asking for help? Pay a couple of bucks to free up some of your valuable time or to make the journey a little easier. Accept an offer of help or hire someone to help you. It’ll be well worth it. There is no law or rule that says you need to do it all by yourself. Try not to struggle if you don’t have to. There’s going to be enough pain and discomfort in your life, why have more than you need? Maybe we’re all here just here to have a good time. Remember what Jackson Brown said:
"Take it easy"
Make sure you check out my latest Ted in Your Head Podcasts: "Scatpooy Epidemic" (#22) and “Why You Need to be Under Pressure (#23)
Feeling overwhelmed these days? Join the club. Take a break and read my latest blog post “Avoiding the Fog of Overwhelm”
One more thing: thanks for reading.
Ted
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