We All Need To Feel Seen
I love the baby's expression in this picture. This baby looks pleased, expectant, engaged and ready to talk! We can just imagine the parent who is engaging with their baby having a similar expression. Our first languages are touch, eye contact and tone of voice. Our brains are wired to monitor the environment for these things and to ensure that someone is watching and caring for us. When we feel this connection and can tell that we are seen and cared about, we know that all is well.
As children grow, they continue to need and seek this connection, hence the joke I saw the other day:
"If a child shows you something without
holding it right up to your retina,
did you really see it?"
When we are only pretending to pay attention or are partially focused on something else, our children can certainly tell. That's when things start to get placed directly into our eyeballs, or the request to "watch this, watch me" turns into a chant. This article The Power of Presence In Early Childhood, by Katie Chappell-Lakin, a teacher at Allen Creek Preschool, does a lovely job of explaining the importance of simply "seeing" our children and how to do it. It also validates the tremendous importance of your day to day work of being there for and with children.
Because the work of parenting and caring for young children is not truly valued in United States culture, it can be very hard to remember how deeply our work as parents matters. But it does. Your work matters. I see how hard you work to provide for your families, and to be there for your children and to (hopefully) take care of yourself as well. Although I know we are fathers and mothers here, I want to share this nice article about the ways we can reach for each other as mothers, to "see" each other. This is just one mom's version of seeing and feeling seen as a mother, but hopefully, there will be something here for you, to help you feel seen, too. xo
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Join me for a free parenting talk this Saturday, hosted by Dr.Amanda Kaufman at Integrative Healthcare Providers! Please email me or Dr. Kaufman if you think you can attend.
Please leave children at home, although tiny babies in slings are welcome.
Helping Children With Emotional Moments
Saturday, March 18th
10:00 am - 12:00 pm
At Integrative Healthcare Providers' new office,
2800 S. State Street, Suite 215, Ann Arbor
Gain a deeper understanding of what’s behind your children’s behavior when they have big outbursts and what you can do to help when they do.
You’ll also learn about a tool that helps parents with the overload that comes with the job of parenting. There will be time for questions about your family’s particular challenges. We hope you will join us!
This will be an introductory talk about the Hand in Hand Parenting approach, for parents who are either new to it or have already learned a bit from the Listening to Children booklets or the book Listen and want some support for using the approach with your family.
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