I HAVE A BOOK DEAL!!!!

Part of me can't believe I just typed that! It's surreal and wonderful, and I am so delighted to share my news with all of you! Houghton Mifflin Harcourt will be publishing my debut novel, BRIGHTLY BURNING, in May 2018. (The announcement says June 2018, but I've been told it's now May. Publishing, ladies & gentleman!)

I am over the moon and every other expression of REALLY FREAKING EXCITED you can imagine. I am ridiculously grateful to my agent, Elana Roth Parker, who believed in me from the word go and found my book the perfect home. And I am indebted to all my critique partners and author friends who have been me advice and support over the years... or just let me vent to them when things were tough. None of us does this alone and I'm excited to embark on the next steps with all of you in my corner!

It's a long story...

I want to share my story of where I started to where I've ended up to reinforce to all of you: stick with it and don't give up! Every publishing journey is different (and mine only just starts here), and this was mine. Some stats:

BRIGHTLY BURNING is my third complete novel
It is my second book to go on submission
It sold on my second round of submission, after doing a revision between rounds
I finished my first novel in 2013, and BB in early 2016
BB started at 104K, was revised down to 99.7K for querying, brought down to 95K for 1st round submission, and down to 92K for 2nd round submission
I did three major revisions passes on BB before it sold

I've been in the YA publishing community about six years. In that time, I've seen so many of my peers get agents, sell books, some rocket to super stardom... it's been a delight, but also of course a frustration! It's always hard to be the one who hasn't gotten an agent, who hasn't sold a book. To get an agent and go on submission... and not sell. To get SO CLOSE!--to acquisitions, even!--and not sell. To be agented for years, not selling, and wondering what your peers think of you. Do they think you're a fraud? That you don't actually have what it takes? You question yourself: was it a fluke that I got an agent? I have been there, and I get it.

It is so, so important to keep an even keel, deal with pangs of jealousy and disappointment healthily, and keep on going. Be genuinely happy for those who move ahead faster or farther, and try not to attach value judgments to other people's journeys. They're all different! And publishing is weird--friends of mine who sold WAY before me have books that will release after mine, or my book will only be two quarters behind theirs (which is nothing in publishing time). We all go at our own pace, and each experience is unique and fraught with its own complications (and teeming with awesomeness).

Always come back to the craft--to the writing. Do it because you love it. It's OK to have the end game of wanting to be published, of course--we all want to get our stories in the hands of readers. But when things don't go well and things seem dark, if you come back to the writing because you love it, it will be OK.

After my first book didn't sell after a year+ on submission and I amicably parted ways with my first agent, I was in a rough place. My second manuscript was in a difficult-to-pitch genre and I felt like I'd failed. I loved my second novel to pieces and didn't want to let go, but the market was just not responsive. In this time, friends of mine started to sell their books--and I was ecstatic for them. But, man, I was also super bummed out for me. I didn't have a sellable novel and I was such a slow writer--it could be years before I wrote a new book, got agented, and sold something.

One day in late October of 2015, I said to my closest critique partner that this was hopeless, I didn't want to write something new, so why bother? On November 3rd, in a fit of stubborn anger, I decided to write my pet idea "Jane Eyre in space" as a NaNo novel. I was sure I didn't have the tools as a writer to execute the idea the way I'd envisioned it, but whatever--I would write it!

In the space of a few days, everything had changed. The story clicked. The writing came easily. I was IN LOVE with writing again. Words tumbled out insanely fast--I "won" NaNo for the first time ever, and suddenly I had this spark of hope. A nagging suspicion that this was "The One." I wrote every single day for three months straight (I even wrote on Christmas) and completed the first draft in early February of 2016. It was the fastest I had ever completed a draft.

Reader, I just sold it. (I couldn't resist. #JaneEyreNerd)

Never ever ever give up. Be stubborn as hell. Don't listen to yourself when frustration tells you to give up. Come back to the writing, every time. Don't be afraid to write the books that scare you.

I'm not being a Pollyanna about being genuinely happy for others who see success--I mean it. It was ESSENTIAL for me. Participating in the happiness of my friends who sold books and not losing their friendship kept me going. I had to wait for it to be "my turn" and now those friends are my BIGGEST supporters. They cried when I got my news. Nurture your friendships and cherish this community.

I will leave you with a number from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt which, no joke, runs through my head whenever I think about perseverance: Just Go On.

Keep going, growing, believing and writing!