Today's Dose of Smile-Therapy

Joke #1  (thanks Gail H for this)
Why is everyone so easily offended?  Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'prejudice' these days...
 
A customer asked, "In what aisle can I find the Polish sausage?"  The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?" The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something.
 
If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for some whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"
 
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't." The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Polish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Ace Hardware."
 
Joke #2
An applicant for a job admitted to the personnel manager that he had both good and bad traits. “What are they?” he was asked. The man said, “Well, on the good side I can do the job better than any man in the world. Twenty of the country’s largest  companies are bidding for my services. I could probably double your business  within a month, if you hire me.”
 
“That’s very impressive,” said the manager. “Now, what are your bad traits?”
“Well,“ replied the applicant,  ‘"here’s only one—I’ve been known to exaggerate now and then…”