Dearest Monthlies, 

Welcome to Issue #8 of The Monthly, we hope the end of summer is treating you especially well. In this months issue we are offering a very special giveaway for back-to-school, covering a very effective exercise for pelvic health, discussing the controversial issue of menstrual pain, sharing some images of amazing jewelry by artists Lili Murphy-Johnson, answering a young reader’s question about her first period, and introducing you to Red Rebel Barbara Hannelore. It is a fun but thought provoking issue and we hope you enjoy.

Happy Monthly,
The Red Rebels

Taboo Trashing

Many of us in our prepubescent years were told, either directly or indirectly, that our periods were going to be painful. Cramps, bloating, breast tenderness, headaches, backaches, etc. were going to befall us once we became women. This can be a terrifying prospect to a young girl who has no experience to compare to these anecdotes. Mild discomfort is to be expected from time to time due to fluctuations in certain hormones, but painful periods, periods that have us bent over in agony or interfere with our daily lives are absolutely not to be expected. 

Talking about our periods as “painful” has become such commonplace that we are in danger of marginalizing those who actually experience pain from their periods. So, let’s try to reclassify what is and is not pain in relation to our menstrual cycles: 

• Dull ache or feeling of fullness in your uterus = not pain vs. Stabbing, lighting bolt or intense contractions
• Minor head tension = not pain vs. Blinding, someone hit me in the head with a hammer, migraine
• Aww, isn’t that commercial with the puppy so cute? = not pain vs. That puppy pisses me off so much I just punched a hole in my wall
• My stomach is gurgling and I can’t finish this bagel = not pain vs. I’m so nauseated I can’t eat, just the thought of that bagel makes me puke
• My boobs don’t quite fit into my bra = not pain vs. I can’t take a shower because the water streaming on my nipples makes me cry

OK, I think you get my point. Now, I understand pain is subjective. One woman may be able to withstand the pains of childbirth and not break a sweat while a paper cut may have the next women hunched over in tears, I get it. And my purpose here is not to make a mockery of those who have lower pain thresholds. But what I don’t like is how we associate very common menstrual symptoms to those that are not common. When we refer to all of our menstrual symptoms as painful we muddy the waters for those who are trying to determine whether or not their symptoms are normal. 

Sadly, many women go for years with undiagnosed menstrual disorders because they learned to believe their symptoms were “common”. Self-treatment with pain medication, needing to take time off work, using hormonal birth control to “regulate” menstrual pain, and living a life more painful and less fulfilling are serious side-effects of this epidemic. We must also be careful that “painful” periods do not become a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we expect something to hurt, chances are, we are going to interpret it through a lens of pain. Just like anticipating how awful it is going to be to trudge through the back-to-school shopper crowd when we run our errands, might actually make your experience awful. 

Now, in no way do mean the pain you experience is “all in your head” because it’s not. What I do mean is that if we truly pay attention to what we experience, actually evaluate it on a level of pain, are we merely experiencing mild discomfort, are we experiencing pain or are we just believing we are? 

Bloody Good Art
 

Period-Inspired Jewelry Collection

by Lili Murphy-Johnson

“Periods are stigmatized in our culture from a long history of superstition and inequality for women. There is an interesting conflict with the perception of the female body, being seen as so perfect, yet also as so grotesque and unclean. Drug stores are oversaturated with products to manage periods, all playing up to the idea that periods are dirty and something wrong with the body, something to hide.

My collection is inspired by menstruation, and the frustrating, leaking female body. Comprising of three prominent stages of menstruation, my collection focuses on the hormonal mood swings that makes up premenstrual syndrome, commonly known as PMS; the ‘periods paraphernalia’ being tampons, sanitary towels, soaps, wipes, and the many products that are provided to women to help manage their periods; and lastly the blood itself.”

We are taught to believe that leakage during our periods is the most humiliating thing that can happen to us. We are taught that the sight of our menstrual blood will cause a reaction of revolt and disgust by those who bear witness. We are taught to fear one of the most natural processes of the menstruating body and are taught to hide it. I chose to feature this artist because she attempts to turn the culturally conditioned notion of menstrual blood on its head. Lili Murphy-Johnson shows us through her jewelry that periods can be, and are beautiful. I encourage you to visit her website to view the entire collection. 

I go back to school next week and I haven't gotten my first period yet. I'm scared I might get it while I'm at school. What can I do to stop from having a leak? Is there any way I can tell when I will start? 

Lillianna age 10
Minneapolis, MN 

Hello Lillianna, thank you so much for asking this question! I would like to start by wishing you luck in your new school year, I hope it is fun and you learn a whole lot of new and interesting things! 

Now, let's get to your question. I see that you are ten years old which can be a little young to have your first period. The average age of menarche (first period) is around 12.5. However, if your mom had her period at a young age you might, too. Unfortunately, there is no real way to pinpoint exactly when a girl like yourself will have her first period but there are a few signs you can look for that may help you narrow down when it might happen:

Signs within 2 years of menarche: 

Breast budding. Somewhere between the ages of 8 and 10 a young girl may notice that her nipples seem to appear swollen. This is called breast budding and it is a sign that your body has begun its prepubescent journey to menarche. When your breasts bud it may or may not be accompanied with the development of breast tissue.

Development of body hair. We are all born with certain types of body hair, like the hair on our head or our eyebrows. But as your body approaches puberty you may notice that you are growing hair under your arms or in your pubic region. At this time you may also notice an increase in certain body odors, too. 

Growth spurt. If you’re suddenly noticing that all your pants are too short, or if your pants are too tight this could be a sign that you are getting closer to menarche. The widening and development of your hips and a few inches gained to your inseam mean that your hormones are starting to flow. 

Signs within 6 months of menarche:

Vaginal discharge. If you have been noticing a white crust in your underwear when you use the bathroom or at the end of the day this is a big sign that you are getting closer to menarche. Vaginal discharge is completely normal, harmless, and a natural sign of reproductive health*. 

Intermittent breast tenderness. As your hormones begin to ramp up in an effort to menstruate for the first time you may notice random bouts of breast or nipple tenderness. Don’t be alarmed, it is completely natural. 

Changing emotions. If you suddenly find that you are becoming overwhelmed with emotion about something that never bothered you before or are just feeling generally irritated these emotions could be related to hormonal changes. Being aware of your emotions and how they change is a great way to connect with yourself and your body. 

Signs within “any day now”:

Mild cramping. As your first period gets closer you may notice tightness, aching, dullness or even a sharp pain near your lower abdomen. This is your uterus beginning contractions! During your period your uterus will contract to help move the blood flow out through your cervix (most of the time you don’t even notice them). If you begin to experience cramping this is a good sign your first period is on its way. 

Spotting. If you notice a brown or pink stain in your underwear or on the toilet paper when you use the bathroom (an barring any injury to your vaginal area) this is called spotting. This means you are due to have your period at any moment! You should be very excited!

How to be prepared:

As I mentioned earlier, there is no 100% way to tell exactly when you will have your first period and I understand that can be worrisome. There are a few things you can do to make sure you are prepared if you happen to have your first period while you are at school: 

• Keep a journal of all the changes you notice in your body
• Talk to a trusted adult about your concerns
• Carry period-care products in your backpack
• Wear a pantyliner if you experince any cramping
• Bring a change of underwear

Now, the lack of these signs does not mean you won’t get your first period soon just like the experience of all of them doesn’t mean you will. These changes are just common indicators of when a young girl like yourself might begin menarche. Awaiting the arrival of your first period can be filled with anticipation, anxiety or even stress, just remember, getting your period is a sign that you have a healthy body and that you’re growing up and that’s pretty exciting! Best of luck to you on your journey to menarche, reach out anytime! 

*If vaginal discharge is accompanied by pain, itching, odor or a chunky texture be sure to tell your parent or guardian, it might be time to make an appointment with a healthcare provider. 

Have a Monthly related question? Submit your inquiry via email for a chance to be featured in our next addition of The Monthly: ask@cycledork.com

Further Reading

Emergency Contraception: Why We Should Learn About It Now, Not Later

Emergency contraception, or the “morning-after-pill” as many call it, is not something that most of us spend much time thinking about in our day-to-day lives. I mean, we know it exists and many of us are very glad that it exists as a potential extra layer of security against unwanted pregnancy, but it’s not generally…

What My Tooth Taught Me About Menstruation

One Thursday morning, I woke up with pretty sharp pain in my tooth. I thought “hmm, maybe I ground my teeth or hit it yesterday.” I carried on with my day, business as usual, ignoring the pain, hoping it would go away. At night, when my attention was no longer focused on other things, I realized the pain was still there, and it was a worse — so bad I would have trouble sleeping. A quick google search…

Five Signs You Might Have Metabolic Reproductive Syndrome (Formerly Known As PCOS)

I grew up with irregular cycles. I would go months without a period. My doctor often reassured me that wild swings in cycle length is “normal” for a newly menstruating girl, which is true. But what I wish she would have told me is that if it continued past the first couple of years there might be something amiss. Instead, I just accepted my cycle irregularity and moved on with my life. It wasn’t until I…

Meet the Red Rebels

Barbara Hannelore, founder of Women's Way Moon Cycles

Hello Cycledork readers!

I love this advocacy for empowering our cycles, and I'm so happy to be able to contribute. My interest in a broader view of our cycles started really early, as I spent a lot of time outdoors and developed a deep connection with the earth as a child. This led to my spending many years farming and gardening, working with young children, gathering wild herbs, joining with friends for seasonal rituals, and learning an appreciation for traditional ways.

Over time, as I learned about the similarities between women’s cycles and the moon and seasons, I realized that this was a powerful rhythmic connection, bringing us into harmony with the natural world and its healing gifts. It is something to be supported, not suppressed!

I was so fortunate to read and study with some wonderful teachers along the way! I met the late Tamara Slayton, founder of the Menstrual Health Foundation, in 1993, and studied with her for several years in Northern California, while also training in Expressive Arts at the nearby PCETI workshops with Natalie Rogers. My Coach training came from two professionals in the medical field — a Dr. and an RN — who shared an emphasis on health, creativity and body awareness.

All of this fits together so well! My work on reclaiming a positive experience of menstruation seems to pull together everything I love — holistic health, nature, creativity, ceremony, the sacred dimensions of life, women's studies, and the whole idea of "process" — taking time to notice our own experience, with as much time as we need, and making it special!

I began writing a book which ended up taking 10 years to complete, as it kept changing along the way (I want to encourage you to just start putting ideas into a folder if you want to write a book — just start collecting things and it will begin to take shape pretty soon). It has been wonderful to have the book completed, because I now host a Book Club which has been filling up each time I offer it! It's a great way to get together on the phone for 5 weeks to go over our impressions of the book together. 

There's so much to cover, which is why it took so long to write the book! Looking at our experience through a cultural lens, for one thing, is so important because then we can realize that our difficulties with our cycles are not just an individual problem. They are the result of a culture that tells us to ignore our cycles and try to pretend they are not happening! How could that possibly be empowering or healthy? So much of our difficulty with our cycles is due to a culture that demeans our experience and tells us it has no value.

Another interest of mine is massage. After practicing massage for over 25 years, I recently studied Fertility Massage, and am now training as a Fertility Doula.  What a great way to expand this work of optimizing the menstrual cycle! Another way to really help women come more fully into their bodies and pay more attention. I'll be able to offer the massages in the Santa Barbara area, and much of the Fertility Doula support can be done through virtual conversations.

You can learn more at my site, WomensWayMoonCycles.com or on Facebook at facebook.com/WomensWayMoonCycles

We encourage you to get the most out of your subscription by contributing to The Monthly’s content. Have a question you want to ask? Know an amazing period-positive artist? Want to share a story about your experiences as a menstruating person? We want to hear from you!

Feel free to send us an email, tweet us, tag us on Instagram or message us on Facebook. We look forward to sharing this space with you and building our community together. 

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