R U OK? DAY  -  THURSDAY 8 SEPTEMBER

R U OK day is the annual day dedicated to reminding you to ask family, friends, and colleagues the important question: are you okay? 

But the prospect of engaging in a serious conversation about mental health can be intimidating. So, how can you ask R U OK?

Asking the Question

When asking 'are you ok,' relax. Start off the conversation casually with general questions like ‘how are you?’ or ‘what have you been up to?’ Use these to open up a discourse, before moving into more specific things, the things that have brought about your concern for them, like ‘I noticed you seem more stressed lately’ or ‘we haven’t talked in a while, is everything alright?’

Remember, this question shouldn’t be limited to a single day, if someone you know has been acting differently, or seems a bit overwhelmed, ask them if they’re okay whenever you can.

And, before you ask the question, make sure you are ready to receive the answer, and that you have time to listen. A difficult conversation may ensue and it is important that you are prepared to deal with the answer, whatever that may be.

Dealing with the Answer

By asking 'are you ok,' you are putting yourself out there, and are going to receive and have to deal with some form of response — you might get a meaningful conversation, or you might be turned down.

If they deny the presence of a problem, don’t probe or critique them, recognise the fact that they aren’t ready to talk. It’s a good idea to respond nicely, perhaps ask them, ‘is there is anyone else you’d prefer to talk to?’ or tell them ‘I’m here to talk if you ever need someone.’

If they respond seriously, you must take their answer the same way. Tell them you care about them and provide consolation if necessary. If you need to, you can give them the number for a confidential crisis support line such as Lifeline (131114). It’s important to be understanding and to make clear you are happy to talk again if they feel they need to.

For more information visit R U OK? Day's simple guide.

Looking for help services and professional care and counselling? 'R U OK?' has compiled an extensive list.