Hi everyone, 

I thought I should share some ideas around networking. In my life so far I've done lots of networking, at events, parties and other occasions. 

When I’m at events, I find the connecting and networking part pretty easy. I have no problems talking to people, I’m not shy and don’t have any huge social problems. I can find something to chat about with 95 percent of the people I meet. I’m also okay with standing by myself for a while as well. A friend told me that they put me next to her husband’s opinionated brother at a big dinner party because they thought I would be able to handle his tendency to be a little loud. I didn’t notice any abnormal social habits and everyone who sat around us had a good time. Meeting and talking to people is easy for me. It’s all the elements around networking that turn me off. 

My #1 networking rule 
I have as a rule to not go to too many events and meet too many people during a single week; I will never be able to follow up with them or get to know much about them. It’s better to be more selective and not add too many contacts to my life in a short period of time. 

I aim to have meaningful conversations with fewer people, instead of lots of short chats with many people who I will forget the next day. I know myself well enough to admit that I am never able to follow up with more than five people per week either, I just don’t have time. I can quickly collect 25 new business cards, but if you don’t follow up they are just names on a piece of paper that you will put away in a drawer. 

Connect on Facebook or I may forget your name
To help me remember who I’ve met, it’s crucial for me to connect on social media as soon as possible after I meet people. I go for all social networks at once and like to add new people I meet on LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter if I feel it’s okay. With some, I sense that they want to keep Facebook to just a few people, but many are okay with adding new acquaintances. If I only add someone on LinkedIn and they do not actively post and engage there, I will forget their name. Connecting with new people on Facebook helps me remember them better.  

Unfortunately, I cannot say that I love everything about networking. Here are some of the reasons why. 

I don’t dare to be vulnerable 
To get help with something you need to ask for help. It's about being vulnerable and getting the message out. I suck at that and I find it very hard to ask for help. Many of my friends who only follow me online assume that everything is great from a few posts on my Facebook page.

I very rarely share my personal and professional struggles in public. But I may ask someone for help in a face-to-face conversation. We have the ability to connect with thousands of helpful people, still often we don’t. I think it’s a real skill to be able to ask for help and the people who help us enjoy doing just that. It creates lots of 'feel-good’ hormones in the brain. I feel totally satisfied if I manage to connect two people with each other and they end up working together, going on a date or just having a great meeting.  

Bad venues 
Many venues are just awful to network in because of bad acoustics or loud music.  

Unhealthy food
Too many networking events serve unhealthy food. Who wants to eat crap just because you are out meeting new people? 

The follow up process don’t work
You go to events and you network to build new relationships. In urban environments you meet a lot of new people and you promise that you will follow up after events. Far too often there are problems in the follow-up process. I’ve lost count of how many times a person has promised to share information, connections or something else after an event or meeting. In reality, it never happens and they don’t even bother to reply to emails or other messages. 

Too many want to ‘pick my brain’ for free
As a social media and digital leadership expert many people like to ask me out for a coffee to ‘pick my brain’. I say no to most of these requests. If I say yes to them I would spend hours every week working for free as a consultant. 

When people look over your shoulder
Another thing that annoys me about networking at events is when people are not able to focus and don’t look at you when they talk to you. They are hunting for someone else more important to talk to and they think you don’t notice. 

People look at you as a tool
Some people also have a short-sighted perspective and only try to sell to you or look at you as a something to take advantage of. It has happened to me countless times. The only thing they think about is how you can be useful to them. This is so deeply unfulfilling for your spirit.

People who cover up who they are say they only have one job
My last pet hate of networking is when people are not honest about who they are. I’ve met loads of people who tell me they are, for instance, a life coach. The next time we meet they say they have a full-time corporate job and only do the coaching as a side project. For me, this is weird. They could have told me in the first place that they have two jobs or three jobs, volunteer and have lots of hobbies that take a lot of time. If we had a conversation it would have been easy for me to remember. 

Thank you for reading, if you have anything networking related you would like to share send me a message back. 

Sofie 

Email: sofie@sofiesandell.com 
TwitterSoffi_Propp 
My posts on Huffington Post 

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I gave a talk at Volvo HQ in Gothenburg, Sweden this week. 

The topic I spoke about was digital agility and how to stay sane in a world full of too much information. I do my best to keep some kind of digital balance, but there is still a lot to learn and it's easy to fall back into bad habits 🤔