Fall is upon us and with it comes one of God’s greatest inventions: football. The college game, of course, kicked off this past weekend (sorry ‘bout cha, Sooners and Tigers) and the NFL commences in the coming days. Football has become our national pastime and yet in film, it is often relegated (if you’ll forgive the pun) to the sidelines as a background setting or B-plot. Baseball movies are essentially a genre unto themselves while football lags behind. Even still, there are a couple dozen football movies that have stood the test of time in some way or another and here now are a few of our collected thoughts on these films.
 
1. What are your three favorite football movies?
 
Richard: I almost universally hate all football movies. I love football, but for some reason it is more of a fit with the medium of television (Friday Night Lights, Hard Knocks, etc.). Baseball—while, in my opinion, an inferior sport in terms of watchability--lends itself a lot more to film. But if you're going to put a gun to my head I guess I kind of like Remember the Titans (B+), Jerry Maguire (A-), and Varsity Blues (B-). 
 
Kent:
1.) Remember the Titans
2.) Little Giants
3.) Forrest Gump (for Brian)
 
Brian: For me, the better football movies tend to root themselves in reality. I’d go with:
1.) Friday Night Lights (the movie, obviously) – One of the greatest sports books ever written and while Peter Berg’s adaptation isn’t exactly a page-by-page retelling, it does right by the story and the characters. Plus, it launched the TV series which is the greatest achievement in the history of the world.
2.) Brian’s Song (the original) – Back before my generation came along with all our sensitivities and general softness, men weren’t allowed to cry unless they were talking about “The War” (whichever war that might be), experiencing a Joe Theismann-level injury, or watching Brian’s Song. Plus, Lando Calrissian as a football player.
3.) Jerry Maguire – I almost hesitate to call this a football movie given that so much of it takes place off the field. Regardless, as the resident Cameron Crowe Apologist on the show, I’d be remiss if I failed to bring up an excellent movie that was rendered impotent by the catchiness of its own dialogue.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go fight Kent.
 
2. What are the three worst football movies?
 
Richard: Rudy, Rudy, and Rudy. Rudy is terrible. The movie sucks too.
 
Kent: Draft Day, Draft Day, and Draft Day.
 
Brian: Kent stole my answer here so I’ll go with:
3.) Leatherheads, a movie that actually exists and is so bad that everyone, including the cast, forgot about.
2.) The Program, a movie that makes Any Given Sunday look realistic and grounded.
1.) The aforementioned Draft Day, a movie that will haunt me for the rest of my life.
 
3. In a winner take all championship game, who wins: The West Canaan Cowboys (Varsity Blues) or the TC Williams Titans (Remember the Titans)?
 
Richard:  I am a firm believer in sports constantly evolving. Not only are training methods vastly superior (not to mention medicine), but so are coaching schemes. I'm one of these weirdos that thinks a mediocre 2016 NFL team (say the 2016 Miami Dolphins) would beat the undefeated Miami Dolphins of 72 by 50 points. Mercury Morris can suck it. By this logic, as Varsity Blues takes place in the mid-to-late 90’s and Remember the Titans takes place in the civil-rights-era 60’s, I think the West Canaan Cowboys trounces Denzel and Co. Texas forever, suckers.
 
Kent: Gonna have to go with TC Williams because we know Denzel would coach the hell out of that game. But Canaan could kick all of our butts at Dawsons Creek trivia. (Editor’s Note: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, KENT.)
 
Brian: On paper, Canaan has a decided advantage. But, in the words of literally every football color guy in the history of the sport, “the game isn’t played on paper.” After jumping out to a commanding lead, Canaan looks to be in the driver’s seat over TC Williams until Billy Bob takes a hard hit and comes away with his 7,000^th concussion. When Coach Kilmer inexplicably refuses to pull him from the game, the Cowboys start drinking on the field. Not the locker room, not even the sidelines, I mean literally in the huddle on the field. An exasperated referee crew is forced to end the game and declare TC Williams the victor by way of forfeit. Hayden Penettiere is nonetheless displeased with the effort.
 
4. Who’s your football movie quarterback?
 
Richard: Keanu Reeves because he did it twice (The Replacements and Point Break) and was completely unconvincing both times. This would be like if Dave Franco did another magic movie after Now You See Me...oh, wait.
 
Kent: Suuuuunshiiiiiine.
 
Brian: Adam Sandler, The Longest Yard. I saw numerous Sportscenter bits in which Sean Salisbury taught Sandler how to play quarterback. And if Salisbury can’t teach someone how to succeed both on and off the field, then I don’t know who could.
 
5. You’re starting a new NFL franchise. Who’s your first pick in the Football Movie Players Expansion Draft?
 
Richard:  Brett Favre, Something About Mary, but if we're limiting this to "football movies" I'd take Devin Sawa in Little Giants. (This would be a huge mistake and bust because, though Sawa has the measurables, he went on to star as Stan in the Eminem video. Basically, I'm like the GM that drafted Ryan Leaf).
 
Kent: Vontae Mack. Why is that even a question? #VontaeMackNoMatterWhat
 
Brian: Haha, you fools! Gale Sayers (Brian’s Song) was an actual NFL superstar who rushed for almost 5,000 yards and garnered five All-Pro selections. Just give me the trophy now.