by Kim Humphrey, PAL Board Chairman
I am humbled constantly by the amazing stories I hear from PAL meetings. Lives are being changed, people are finding hope and in some cases, loved ones are getting better. I have heard the statement numerous times, “PAL saved my life!”

That is a strong statement but I know what they mean. It was the same for my wife and me. We found hope in what appeared to be a hopeless situation. As a board, PAL is dedicated to spreading the word and expanding PAL so that it is available all around our country. Your volunteer board and facilitators put in a tremendous number of hours working to help others. 

I want to reach out to you and ask for your help in a number of ways as we know that we cannot do this alone.  Mike Speakman is fond of saying, “All the answers to an addict’s problems are found in the Recovery Community; they just need to ask.”  Well, I think all our answers can be found in you, our PAL community.  Please look at the list near the end of this newsletter for our volunteer needs - even if you just have a little time or can help in any way, we have some specific areas of need.  Just reply to this email if you have questions or want to help!.
 

How I Found Hope in PAL

by Pam P. 

There my husband and I were, standing in a drug testing facility, demanding, coercing, and begging our youngest son, now 22 years old, to just give us a urine sample. The gig was up for him and he was fighting hard to avoid the impending truth that was about to change all our lives. Finally, he produced a sample. Our greatest fear now exposed – positive! Oh God! Now what?! Where do we go for help?  What should we do? Our minds swimming- overwhelmed with despair knowing that this is a lifetime disease.  We needed help, education and support if we were going to survive this mess.

The next few days we walked around in complete shock after having been shaken out of our comfortable denial from what we had been living in for years. We knew things weren't adding up with all the problems at school. He was caught smoking in the parking lot, and had multiple suspensions.  We pulled him out of two high schools and eventually had to home school him ourselves. We couldn't figure it out, we gave our two sons every advantage we could. My husband and I had a loving marriage, a good home in a safe neighborhood and attended a Bible church. The picture of success. Yet, our youngest son kept rebelling. 

We tried everything we could on our own from house arrest where he couldn't go anywhere without his dad or me present, to lecturing, to threatening, to setting up boundaries only to knock them down ourselves when things got difficult. Nothing seemed to help us get back our sweet, funny, compassionate, creative son. After high school he went to work for his dad full time. His co-workers started to tell his dad that they believed he was on drugs and one said that it was meth. This didn't’t seem possible, he was showing up for work and staying late to complete the jobs – at first. Eventually things started to unravel as he would show up late daily, mess up the jobs he was assigned, and anger his co-workers with his “flakiness.” He had to be let go.

It was at this time a gentleman I spoke with at a recovery center suggested his dad and I start attending a support group for parents called PAL. It has made all the difference. My first visit I could barely speak, I just cried, but by the 3rd or 4th week I was beginning to find strength and above all HOPE! I was surrounded by others who knew exactly what I was going through and the lessons were targeted specifically to my needs in dealing with a drug addict. I cannot express adequately enough the importance PAL has made in our lives. I’m just incredibly grateful! We still attend PAL every week and continue to use the principles we have learned. I’d love to tell you our son is 100% on track, the fact is he still has more learning to do.

About a year after we started PAL my husband was on his way to work very early in the morning and saw our son’s car in a convenience store lot. He decided to check it out only to find our son sleeping in the car. The store clerk said they had called the police and my husband then witnessed them question and search our son, and finally arrest him. They released him a few hours later since it was his first offense, but things just got worse from there. He was unemployed for months because he couldn't hold down a job, and ended up stuck in Vegas after his “friends” had abandoned him. He called in a panic asking for a ticket home. Thankfully we had enough PAL education to know how to respond. He eventually returned to our town only to find he had been kicked out of his apartment and needed to show up for his hearing from the charges earlier in the year. He ended up receiving a year of drug testing and diversion.

If we had not been attending our weekly PAL meetings we would have been in complete despair and worry all the time, instead we are getting closer to acceptance. We know this is his journey and we need to get out of the way. We still struggle, but we are not giving up hope, we are choosing to believe that he will eventually figure this out and get on track. In the meantime, we will continue to attend PAL and take care of ourselves.