The goodness of suffering

Some people come to mindfulness practice because they heard it helps increase focus and concentration, that it will give you energy and helps you look younger! While all these benefits are real, generally people come to the practice because they suffer.

That suffering exists is the first of the Buddha's four Noble Truths. My teacher Thich Nhat Hanh (or Thay as he is known to his students) has taught whole retreats on the 'art of suffering'. Here he talks (in French with translation) of the 'goodness of suffering'.

In week 5 of the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction course (MBSR) we really look at suffering and people are often surprised at how doing this - spending time with our suffering - helps us to be happy. If we can't acknowledge our suffering we become a victim of it. Every human being suffers and in this we are united. Because of our common humanity, our wanting to avoid suffering, we can empathise with each other and we can offer each other compassion. When we really understand our suffering we can offer ourselves compassion, knowing  that we as much as anyone else deserve our own love and compassion.

The three components of self-compassion as taught on the 8-week Mindful Self-Compassion (MSC) course are:
1. mindfulness
2. common humanity
3. self-kindness

One of the most popular articles I posted on my Facebook page this month was: 'negative emotions are key to wellbeing. To quote: “Taking the good and the bad together may detoxify the bad experiences, allowing you to make meaning out of them in a way that supports psychological wellbeing.”

Negative emotions are not all bad! They alert us to danger and  advise us to take action (like run!) when we need to. It's the suppressing of negative emotions that can actually harm us and lead to chronic stress and illness. It's important to acknowledge our emotions. A 2010 study suggested that pushing back negative emotions could cause emotional overeating compared to simply recognising that you were for example upset, agitated or sad.

Breathing slowly and deeply while learning to tolerate negative feeling and discovering where they manifest in the body can be revolutionary. Thay tells us that when we an embrace our suffering we suffer less. However this process must be done with caution and perhaps learnt with a therapist or in a supportive group environment like a sangha or/and MSC or MBSR class.  

The good news is that the fourth Noble Truth tells us that there is that there is a path leading to the cessation of suffering, a path of happiness, that an end to suffering is possible. Mindfulness practice is part of that path. In next month's newsletter I'm going to focus on the positive emotions of love and joy (as it's Christmas) but also because we need to strengthen and water the positive emotions in us in order to hold and experience the difficult ones.

Many people (myself included) feel very disappointed about the election of Donald Trump and the apparent rise in more negative politics. I posted online that I felt sick, I was acknowledging my negative emotions of fear and disappointment, but as Thay says: “There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus.”

From the mud of negativity, fear and discrimination many people may wake up and work for peace, for inter-being and inclusivity. The beautiful flowers in the picture above would not have been able to grow without dirt (soil and fertiliser). And now they are gone to the compost bin, flowers will grow again from their waste. 

There is so much to discuss and so much excellent material already on the aftermath of the US election. I feel I don't have enough real wisdom, so I turn to my teacher Thay. He teaches  how the right needs the left, and how the left cannot exist without the right. How the right and left depend on one another to exist. And his teachings on fear: 
“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear we can realise that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvellously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” Thich Nhat Hanh

If you're feeling negative about world news one idea is 'news fast' or a digital detox! During one week in October BBC NI news journalist Mark Simpson went one week without his mobile, the McDonald family went without WIFI for 48 hours - they all had a positive and interesting experience. Later in the week BBC came to Namaste, the yoga studio where I teach my weekly classes, to interview me on the subject. Here is the clip I appear in, I've put it up on my website, it's not very long though they were with me for two hours! I spoke to them about how to have a new relationship with technology. It's not so much our gadgets or particular websites that are harmful to us - its our relationship with them. It can become addictive and we end up wasting more time than we intend. I gave the journalists tips on how to switch-off. Simple things such as switching your phone to flight mode from 10pm to 8am - to help ensure you get a good nights sleep, but enabling you to still use the phone to tell the time, just not get your emails or Facebook notifications!  It's also a good idea to put your phone away when your with friends, at the dinner table and especially while driving! It may also be an idea to look out and notice the scenery when on the bus or train instead of the small screen. I know it's not easy as I am on my phone a lot too! I run a lot of the business side of Immeasurable Minds through online systems. And sometimes I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out!) Awareness is the first step and having the intention to switch off more regularly is powerful. We need to switch-off our devices more and tune into ourselves on more regular basis. Meditation is a way to achieve that. xx

*the flowers above were given to me my lovely friend Karen Virapen who designed my website. All photos in this month's newsletter are from the Immeasurable Minds Instagram account.

Talk of the month
I loved this talk from the summer retreat at Plum Village by Brother Phap Dung "the revolution of the present moment"  My Sangha and I really enjoyed watching it last month.  If you are interested in Sangha's in Ireland check out mindfulnessireland.org

Book of the month
This months book 'Medical Medium' by Anthony Williams is a bit 'far out' for some but I loved it. I discovered it via an article in Gwyneth Paltrow's newsletter 'GOOP' where Williams wrote about ways to support thyroid health. I've had the 'auto-immune' condition, an under-active thyroid for almost 20 years. Meditation and yoga help to stay healthy despite it. But diet or 'mindful eating' is also crucial. I'm not always very good this as I have a particularly strong sweet tooth! But I loved Anthony's advice which is basically sound and boils down to eat more fruit! (with other tips in there). We're all too afraid of fruit these days believing it has too much sugar - but it also has a host of other nutrients and the sugar from fruit is digested differently. The book address lots of other 'mystery illnesses' and his story is fascinating. If you read it do let me know what you think: mindfulmind@outlook.com

Quote of the month
Has to be from the most revered and loved musicians who passed away this month. His most famous quote is "There's a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." But in light of this months theme I'll leave you with this one: 
"When things get really bad, just raise your glass and stamp your feet and do a little jig. That's about all you can do."
RIP Leonard Cohen