January Newsletter from Julie Jeske - What's Your Word for 2011?

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February - Desire - Thursday, February 24th

March - Orgasm - Date TBA

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What’s your word for 2011?

I stopped making New Year’s Resolutions a few years ago. I was tired of pledging to do the same resolutions year after year. Each year I told myself I would lose weight or eat better or floss and each year I would be gung ho in the beginning of the year and then forget my resolutions as “real life” got busy. A major shift happened when I realized that if something is really important to me I can do it any time of the year (not just on January 1^st). What a trip to join a gym in April and not have to fight the crowds to get on a machine!

I’m not trying to blast resolutions. I think there is something special about letting go of the past year and looking forward to a new one. I’m just not a fan of the word “resolutions”. There is something about it that feels punishing or temporary (how many years have you recycled the same resolutions over and over again, only to break them each year?) Instead I like thinking of intentions, wishes or goals. I think of intentions as an energy, something I can focus on without feeling guilty if I don’t make it happen every single day. If you slack on your resolutions do you start over or do you just forget them? With an intention (for example “I’m going to focus on health this year) it’s easy to keep focus on it even if you “mess up” one day. Intentions can be really helpful for your relationship. What do you want to focus on as a couple? What changes would you like to make? Here is some information on setting relationship intentions.

This year I did something different. I chose a few words that I want to focus on rather than making very rigid resolutions or intentions. I have a short list of words that are on my radar for the year. One of the words is “nourishment.” Instead of having a resolution that I won’t eat or won’t do certain things, I just think of my word. As I’m making decisions I ask myself, “Is this nourishing?” I also check in with myself regularly, “What kind of nourishment would feel good?” Nourishment can take all sorts of forms (self care, exercise, time with friends, a date, a nap etc.).

Now that January is almost over, where are you with your 2011 resolutions, intentions or wishes? Have you given them up? Are you making headway? If you’ve given up on your resolutions or they are starting to feel a little overwhelming, you might just pick a word instead. What do you really want in your life? What one thing would make a difference? What are you yearning for? What is your word (or words) for 2011?

Are you looking for more ways you can improve your relationship? You can find more ideas on my blog. You can learn about my counseling practice and decide if counseling is right for you here.

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Copyright (C) 2011 Julie Jeske, MS, LPC All rights reserved.

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