HELLO, THERE.
Whether we owe you a 'welcome' or a 'welcome back', we're so glad you're here with us this season.
We at GFJ are so grateful to be doing the Holiday Refresh for the second year in a row. We feel we need this now more than ever. This challenge was born to help us all move through the season with grace, ease, and meaning. This year, it’s our goal to equip ourselves with the means to clarify values, spark dialogue, and remember that, first and foremost, we’re all human beings.
To get the most out of our experience together over the next six weeks, we asked you to set an intention for this challenge. (Not yet caught up? Take a few moments to read the starter kit and do the exercise). Once you’ve got it, put it where you can see it in your everyday life. Allow it to carry you through spaces both familiar and unfamiliar, routines new and time-worn. To ease the meeting and greeting of any person who may not necessarily agree with you on everything. To comfort you in the midst of chaos. To inspire you to join in celebration.
It’s easy to be against it all – to want the holidays to just go away. Sometimes, we’d prefer not to broach certain topics in between passing the cranberries and pie. It’s often more comfortable to ignore, deflect, and numb than to engage, confront, and feel. But where does walking on eggshells get us? Sure, there will be peaceful pleasantries. But will there be real, deep connection? Will there be passion? Will people feel seen and heard?
THIS WEEK
We know that recalibrating the holidays takes words and actions. Our opening theme calls us to find balance on the spectrum between opposition and understanding.
After four years of experimenting with fermentation, Mollie has discovered that surface mold develops if the contents aren't stirred and agitated. By breaking up the medium, all parts are reintegrated together in order to restore balance. Can we apply the same principle to our holiday season?
This week, let’s focus on stirring the pot, agitating, and reintegrating, so that our beliefs and ideas can become actions. So that our conversations don't leave out the folks sitting at the other end of our very long table. Let’s move fluidly between separateness and togetherness, between opposition and understanding.
To bring this theme out of the computer and into three-dimensional life, download this smartphone background designed by our own Gina Lorubbio, and join us in the following micro-challenge.
HOLIDAY REFRESH: MICRO-CHALLENGE #1
Ask Generous Questions
Rather than avoid tension at Thanksgiving (or wherever it may arise for you), let’s start conversations that allow us to grow, adapt, and understand. A great place to begin is with generous questions – those that the ever-wise journalist, author and entrepreneur Krista Tippett says “invite honesty, dignity, and revelation.”
This means asking questions with genuine curiosity, listening intently to the answer, and expecting the best from the other person. The goal is not to ‘win’ - it is to have truly two-sided (or multi-sided) dialogue.
Please keep in mind that we’re not asking you to suspend your values, but to exercise them. We don’t reach understanding in spite of who we are, but because of it. You won’t magically feel comfortable while asking generous questions. We feel you. Find support (psst, we’re on your team!) Start with just one question, and see what happens.
Maybe you…
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Write down your own set of generous questions to ask others.
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Ask how someone is doing and stick around for the whole story.
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Learn one new story about a family member you’ve known forever.
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Practice active listening: be 100% attentive, ask clarifying questions, and do not interrupt.
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Encourage someone else to ask you a question.
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Take deep breaths and remain generous when your values are questioned by others.
If you want to deepen the challenge, consider:
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Visualizing what happens after you ask the question. Think of the best-case scenario and the worst-case scenario, and have a response for each.
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Prepare with the help of experts. Here's a comprehensive, digestible resource.
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Teach a child the art of conversation (and perhaps learn something yourself.)
There is no wrong way to do this challenge. All we ask is that you carry the sentiment of genuine curiosity with you in your Thanksgiving celebrations and the weeks to come.
Keep your experiences personal, share them with a friend, post them on instagram, or email us. We can’t wait to hear how it went.
From Presents to Presence,
Taylor + Dorothy + Gina + Mollie
PS If you found this helpful, share the GFJ Holiday Refresh with a friend. What better gift than to be able to reflect, adapt, and create meaning together this holiday season?
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