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Maybe it's because Im getting older, but this New Year felt more reflective than usual.
The world seems like a very different place than the way it did 12 months ago, and though 2016 was a bit of everything for me, it definitely was particularly tricky for a lot of peeps I know and care about.
Of course, there are those who say, "Don't just weather the storm, learn to dance in the rain." Personally, I feel it should be OK to punch those people in the face.
The idea of dancing in the rain as a solution to dealing with real difficulties comes from the same book of practical advice as, "This is a terrible party, so I'm just going drink my way through it." It's messy.
There's nothing wrong with acknowledging difficulty. The idea that when something is hard, we have to pretend it isn't, is stupid and takes a ridiculous amount of effort. Telling people who are weathering storms that they should also find something to dance about, is like punishing them twice.
How about, "When it's raining, stick your umbrella up and keep going. Eventually it'll pass, and if it doesn't build yourself an ark." instead?
In story wrangling, I often say that there is no such thing as good or bad, only clear on unclear.
A story is a sequence of events laid out along a timeline. Some of these events are positive and some are negative. if they are all positive or all negative, the story doesn't ring clear, because everybody knows that real life doesn't work like that.
Everybody's life has ups and downs - that is universal. You breathe in, you breathe out. You get light, you get dark. You get happy, you get sad and get happy again.
When I think about 2016, an old story from years gone by keeps coming to mind.
Not long after I met Mark, we decided to go on vacation - It's part of that couples thing: 'Do I like you enough to spend 14 full days with you and nobody else?"
Anyhow, Mark and I we booked flights and, without too much of a plan, decided to conquer Italy. Over the course of two weeks, we dined in Rome, we barfed in Florence - a story for another day - and we rented a house in Tuscany.
Before we had kids we liked to just pick up a map of wherever we were, and pick a place and go there. And that is how we discovered that there's a village in Italy called Bastardo.
Oh how we laughed. We thought of the photos we could take there: Mark could stand in front of the town sign smiling, with the word "Bastardo" emblazoned behind him. I could stand in front of the sign, pointing off camera to some unknown 'Bastardo" out of frame.
Maybe we could get a passer by to take our photograph together, and use it as a wedding invitation.
Possibilities were discussed, and wine was drunk, and much hilarity ensued. And the next morning, we packed up our little hire car and set off to discover the little town with the big name.
Although, when I say morning, what I really mean is early afternoon, because neither of us were particularly morning people before kids. And when I say we packed our little car, what that really meant was a couple of bottles of water and a pack of potato chips. And, although we were dressed for the weather, it was hot and sunny, so that meant we had shorts and T shirts on.
Technically the journey should have taken about an hour, but once you've stopped to have coffee and admire glorious Italian scenery, you can find a couple of hours passes incredibly quickly.
I don't know if you know this, but Italy is surprisingly hilly and as we were driving further and further above sea level on tiny little Italian country roads, I noticed our phone signals no longer worked, and for a little town with such a hilarious name, Bastardo was surprisingly hard to find.
Still, we'd be fine, right? Just round the corner we'd find Bastardo or some charming little Italian hamlet, and we'd be fine.
But just around the corner was yet more adorable Italian scenery, and no sign of humankind, and also no sign of Bastardo.
Of course we could have just used this as an opportunity to enjoy the scenery, but there's nothing quite dampens the mood of a country drive in the middle of nowhere as when the red light on the dashboard of a hire car signals that the gas tank is almost empty.
And though the charming little winding Italian roads are glorious fun in the daylight, they take on a slightly different feel when dusk starts to fall.
Our journey had started out with possibility and laughter, but lost in on a winding mountain road with no phone coverage, dressed in shorts and T shirts, in a hire-car running low on gas, with darkness descending, Mark and I found we weren't so much for jokes. Instead, we were both considering possible options.
Then, just when it all seemed bleak, the car turned one final corner and there in front of us the word, "Bastardo" shining out in the distance, like the veritable Holy Grail.
When we arrived, we were more interested in filling the car with gas than taking pictures, but finally as the light faded, Mark and I both had our photographs taken in front of the town sign, and then we headed home.
On the journey back, I think that was the first time it came into my mind that we could get married. Because, when you're OK being lost with someone, you know what you have found.
2016 year started off pretty hilarious, and then took some pretty unexpected turns. When the darkness started to fall, the road looked bleak. Undoubtedly we're heading for Bastardo, but this one doesn't feel like the Holy Grail at all.
But we won't be there forever. It's just another dot on the timeline.
Life goes up and down and up again.
Wherever you are now is just one point in your story. So it's not good or bad. It's just clear or unclear.
Anyway, if you're currently weathering a storm, put your anorak on, and when you're at a terrible party, look around, as chances are there's someone else wondering if they should just get drunk too.
I'm looking forward to the stories 2017 will bring me. I very much hope that one of them is yours.
Class starts back in Burbank in January.
Peace and love,
Lynn
xox
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