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Inconsistent Visiting: Using TIPS to help parents understand what's behind this pattern - and break it
A caseplanner at Graham asked how the TIPS could be used to talk about patterns – she had in mind a parent who was inconsistent about showing up. Here's what our group came up with:
READING
"Starting Over" by Melissa Landrau (on the back of Helping Children Heal) can help start a conversation about inconsistent visiting. When Melissa's two daughters were removed, she "fell off visits for months at a time" but was able to get back on track.
DISCUSSION
* Melissa wasn’t going to visits because of depression, DV and shame. Can I ask what’s getting in your way of coming regularly?
* How do you think Melissa’s inconsistency was affecting her kids?
* Melissa’s husband confronts her in a way that helps her start visiting again. What do you think would help you?
* Now that Melissa is visiting consistently, how do you think it feels for her and her kids? How do you think it would be for you and your kids if you made that change?
GOING DEEPER
You can share these Rise stories with parents to deepen reflection. Each shows how a professional helped a parent identify and change patterns:
Seen and Heard by Piazadora Footman shows how a parent was able to make changes in parent-child therapy.
From Existing to Living by Erica Harrigan shows how a parent who felt disconnected and overwhelmed was able to begin to handle the intimacy and activity of playing with her children. |
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QUICK TIPS
Text the TIPS: Staff at Sheltering Arms suggested texting the TIPS to parents. You can use these links to send individual TIPS:
* Making the Most of Visits
* What You Need to Know About Visits
* Handling Painful Feelings During Visits
* Helping Children Heal During Visits
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