ACJU English Newsletter Issue No.81

The position of Islam on the kind treatment of women is very clear as mentioned in the Noble Qur’an and exemplified through the life and character of Nabi Muhammad (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).
Allah says in the Noble Qur’an:
“The nobler among you in the sight of Allah is the more righteous among you.” (49:13)
Abu Hurayrah (radhiyallahu anhu) stated: Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, “The most perfect of believers in belief is the best of them in character. The best of you are those who are the best to their women.” (Tirmidhi)
In can be understood from these narrations that a husband’s treatment of his wife reflects a Muslim’s good character, which in turn is a reflection of his faith. The character of Rasulullah (SallAllahu alayhi wasallam) exemplified how one should be good to his wife. He should smile at her, not hurt her emotionally or physically, remove anything that will harm her, treat her gently and be patient with her. He should communicate effectively with her, involve her in decision making and support her in times of difficultly.
Allah instructs men to be kind to their wives and to treat them well to the best of their ability. A devout Muslim should always remember that bring joy to one’s spouse is part of faith and earns the pleasure of Allah, whilst dealing with her unjustly will earn the anger of Allah.
Allah says in the Noble Qur’an:
“Live with them in kindness; even if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike something in which Allah has placed much good.” (4:19)
Abu Hurayrah (radhiyallahu anhu) reported that Rasulullah (SallAllahu alayhi wasallam) said, “A believing man should not hate a believing woman. If he dislikes something in her character, he should be pleased with some other or another trait of hers.” (Muslim)
For any relationship to prosper, each party should focus on the positive character traits of the other. Being over-concerned with negative character traits and weakness engenders hatred, discord and even violence at times. A positive attitude is essential.
Following this advice should help the husband focus and be more aware of his wife’s good attributes rather than the negatives. A companion once asked Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam), “What is the right of a wife over her husband?” He said, “That you feed her when you eat and clothe her when you clothe yourself and do not strike her face. Do not malign her and do not keep apart from her, except in the house.” (Abu Dawood)
Conflict in marriage is unavoidable at times and, unless one is conscious of the Allah, it can lead to a lot of anger. Although anger is one of the most difficult emotions to manage, the first step towards controlling it can be learning how to forgive those who hurt us. Under no circumstance, even when he is angry or somehow feels justified, is a husband allowed to humiliate her by using hurtful words or cause her any injury.
In Islam, a person cannot perfect his/her relationship with Allah, unless they perfect their relationship with others. The kind treatment of others, including one’s spouse, can therefore not be ignored as an obligatory act of worship and a sign of piety. Islam teaches the individual to constantly consider which deeds and behaviours will be pleasing to Allah and to interact with others in way that will be pleasing to Him.
It is through attaining a higher level of Allah-consciousness that Islamic principles can contribute to the elevation of society. As a believer sincerely contemplates on how his deeds will be viewed by Allah, he learns to improve his conduct with others, including his spouse.
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