Is the honeymoon over ?

Seems like an unusual topic for a horsemanship newsletter.  I often compare our relationship with our horses, to our relationships with our partners.  When we first begin our relationship with our partners,  it typically starts with a 'dating' phase.  We go out, get to know each other, enjoy each others company, and learn how to communicate with each other.  Discover our likes and dislikes.  As we become more comfortable with each other, we become more relaxed - instead of 1 person picking the other up to go out on a date, the date may begin at home, and as we go further along (all being well) and we become a 'serious couple' we start spending nights at each others places, maybe weekends, then we discuss moving in together, and it continues on.

All the way through this initial phase, each person is taking into consideration the other - how they are feeling, what they like and dislike, and how to communicate.

With horses we kind of start out the same - we spend time learning about the horse, spending time with him, figuring out what he likes and dislikes, how he best understands what we are trying to ask him to do.  Then at some point, we often begin to care more for 'our agenda' and less for 'what the horse wants' and then it turns into a 1 way street.

I understand that some people have horses and they are not interested in a 'relationship' with the horse - they are in it for their agenda, and their agenda alone.  I am not one of those people.  I like spending time with my horses just hanging out in the yards or paddocks, I like playing at liberty, I like spending time on the ground with them, and of course I like riding them.  But I feel I would be missing out on so much of the experience of having horses in my life, if all I wanted to do was head to the paddock and ride each time - which is very much about me and not so much about him.  Now to clarify, Im not saying that If I go to the paddock to ride, that I will change my mind if I feel like the horse doesn't want to be ridden - what I am saying is that I will spend time connecting with him, touching base and then ride.

Just like in a human relationship, it takes thought and effort to maintain - a continued courtship if you like.  Date nights, time away together - after a few years these are not so much 'getting to know you' anymore, as much as they are 'I enjoy spending time with you' and continued communication.

Often with our horses we are so time poor, coupled with being focussed on our agenda 'I must ride you today' that we don't take into consideration the horse.  The horse has his herd, his paddock, where he spends over 90% of his time, and then we pull him out take him away and ride him - how does that promote the horse enjoying your company ?

How is that having a relationship ?  It sounds pretty 1 sided to me!

I often hear people complain about ground work - 'its boring', 'I just want to get on and ride' and I feel like 'wow, you are missing out on such a great experience with your horse!'  Our ground work can be like our 'courtship'.  We spend time getting to know him and communicating with him.  We keep the communication open and continue to build a dialogue that we both understand.  We help him feel good by taking the time to stretch him, warm his muscles up, find any sore spots or tension, we help him develop muscle and strength before adding the weight of the rider.  These are just a few of many benefits of ground work, but you know - you just want to ride him, right ?

I spend time with my horses so I can learn their body language - it really is a dialogue between us, and the more time I spend with my horses, the better I can understand what they are trying to say ( I often joke about how Cooper and I a like an old married couple, because we understand each other so well).

Liberty and just spending down time with my horses all allows me to enjoy them - and them me.

What do your horses see when they see you - a 'rider' or a partner ?

Happy Trails

 

Tanja