Hey <<Name>> :-)
You’ve probably spotted that things are looking a little different - that’s because I’ve had a brand makeover! I’m still at the same web address (bethanyjoy.org) but if you’re curious feel free to have a look at the new and improved site.
Otherwise just keep reading to find the usual tips, events, and latest projects, as well as a few new features.
Happy reading! ❤️
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Here's a peek at a page on a local hospice website:
‘If you feel that you need extra help and would like to access our services, you will need to be referred. You can speak to your GP to ask for a referral or call our community nurse specialist team who will speak to your GP directly for you and discuss the appropriateness of a referral. We will contact you as soon as the referral has been made and talk to you about your wishes and needs.’
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These people are offering warm and loving end-of-life care - but would you know it from the tone? Yikes. Let’s look at what’s making this seem way more clinical than I know this hospice to be in real life...
- The vocabulary is very cold - ‘access our services’, ‘discuss the appropriateness’, ‘we will contact you’ and ‘your wishes and needs’. Brrrrr. It would only take a simple shift to something like ‘we’ll be in touch to chat about the help you’re interested in’ to give this a completely different feel.
- Small but significant - they don’t use contractions. ‘You will’ and ‘we will’ just make things seem more stilted that ‘you’ll’ and ‘we’ll’, because that’s not how real human beings speak.
- We’re always being told that ‘it’s all about the customer’ - but it can go too far! ‘You/your’ is used nine times in three sentences, and it leaves the reader (who we assume is feeling pretty sick and vulnerable) with the sense that the burden of action is all on them. Ironically, a bit more ‘we’ would make the whole thing more supportive.
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I’m not sure if I’ll ever find a natural way to get this into everyday conversation, but it’s so darn beautiful I’m going to keep trying. It means ‘the strange wistfulness of used bookstores’ and seems to be trying to capture something of the oddly nostalgic feeling of being surrounded by old and well-loved books from across history, which you know have been owned and devoured by myriad people, each with their own story and set of experiences. I’m utterly in love.
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How to find your brand voice
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Cheltenham – 18 July 2018
At this business Meetup for local entrepreneurs and SMEs, I’ll be
offering a practical guide to shaping the language your business uses
so that through it people get a better sense of who you are and what
you have to offer – and actually want to engage with you.
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How to find your brand voice
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Swindon – 19 July 2018
Do you use words to promote your business? If so, whether you’re a start-up, solopreneur, freelancer, or SME, then you’ll benefit from this talk dedicated to simply and practically explaining what on earth ‘brand voice’ means and how you go about getting one.
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CABI: the brand voice
These guys are crazy-smart and passionate scientists, tackling poverty by solving problems in agriculture and the environment - but, as you might expect, that means their copy can be a little on the dry and technical side! So I’m working with them to think about how they can write in a way that’s both informative and truly reflective of their exciting, life-changing work. There’s no new copy to look at yet, but watch this space...
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NW Coaching: the website
This brilliant life coach wanted web copy to set her apart from all the coaching waffle in her sector - so I wrote about her work in a clear and straightforward way that showcased her friendly, practical and encouraging style.
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If award-winning photos of wildlife at its funniest doesn't brighten your day, nothing will.
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“Beth's stand-out skill is her ability to identify the right tone of voice for the right situation and then use that voice accurately, consistently and with the precision of a scalpel.”
Eamonn Boylan
Director and Co-Founder at creative agency Herd
*Just to be clear, this is a figure of speech. My clients aren’t horses. They’re people.
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Want to be gettable and irresistible?
Just shoot me a message at beth@bethanyjoy.org
and we’ll chat about how I can help.
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