Roger v Hercule 12—4th August, 2018: Suffering from Finger Deafness

Here's a side effect of chemotherapy I bet you didn't know about (unless you've had chemotherapy): you can get tingling in your fingertips.

That's how oncologists describe it. "Tingling".

Here's how I describe it: like pressing your fingers down on to a scalding hotplate.

Fortunately, the sensation isn't always that intense. Mostly, it's a niggling fizzing that's annoying rather than painful. Like when a carbonated drink goes up your nose.

It does make touching things a peculiar experience. Finger deafness would be a good name. You can feel, but the sensation is dulled by the fizz.

The oddest feeling is running my fingers over my head, which is covered in a harsh fuzz. My hardier hair follicles have been unaffected by the chemo. Its like stroking fire.

Spiky fire hair, fizzing fingertips. This is what I have become:

Ward Talk:
(Things I overhear in hospital)

Nurse (to a slumbering patient): "Michael, we just need to do obs*."

Patient: "You saw me sleeping, didn't you?"

Nurse: "You're not here for a rest."

*Obs = observations—usually blood pressure, heart rate, oxygen levels, blood sugar levels. Taken several times a day on the ward.

Hercule Is a Streaker

A Dutch friend came across Hercule in Paris this past week.

Here's a photograph.

No wonder my arteries we're bulging and I was struggling for air if that is what I was carrying around in my chest.

Clearly, I must revise my internal dress code. It's far too lax.

The Green Tea Lie

I hate green tea. Filthy stuff. It tastes like fermented slugs. I imagine. I've never actually tasted fermented slugs. (If you have, you might let me know how they compare with green tea.)

Despite the taste, I've been drinking a lot of green tea since I was diagnosed. If you Google it, you'll find lots of articles telling you it's a cancer buster. And the internet is never wrong.

Except, maybe green tea isn't a guaranteed cancer fighter. The evidence appears to be mostly anecdotal. More (and more rigorous) research is needed to validate green tea's anticancer credentials.

Dark chocolate (70%-plus cocoa solids) also has an anticancer reputation for much the same reasons as green tea. There is one major difference, though. I like dark chocolate. It is borderline holy, in my opinion. I haven't dug as deeply into the scientific evidence. I'm sure it's all fine.

Meanwhile, I'll continue to force down green tea. Just in case.

Spierkater Is Still Resting

Actually, Spierkater is on hold indefinitely. I don't have the mental energy to draw at the moment.

Ideas still come to me and I jot them down. My handwriting is illegible, even to me, so I can only hope the scribbles make sense when I have enough zip again to do something with them.

Spierkater is my running alterego: www.spierkater.com

Winding Down Work

I've been working as much as the chemo side effects have allowed. It's been ever-decreasing circles, the deeper I've gone into my treatment. Now I've reached the point at which I have to pull back from work.

Fortunately, our retainer clients have been very understanding throughout. They've been happy for me to do the work I could. Now they are happy to wait until I return. That's a huge boost. My worry was that my illness would be the end of Show & Tell, which relies heavily on me as the main revenue generator. Knowing our clients will be waiting for me when I resurface is a great mental lift.

I'm also lucky my long-term collaborator Paul O'Mahony will help oversee the large one-off project on Show & Tell's books, bringing in outside creatives as the project demands.

I know the financial aspect of my illness has been on people's minds. I won't go into details, but I should be able to see this out.

And even better: I haven't had a proper holiday for over a decade. Whatever will I do with my time?

Roger

PS—Previous issues of Roger v Hercule are here:

How to live through high-grade non-Hodgkin lymphoma type B and not lose your sense of humour