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Welcome to Newsletter #47

A bunch of tales I wanted to share with you

A tale I read

Boy and Egg by Naomi Shihab Nye

A tale I heard

Actor Jake Gyllenhaal on his audition for the part of Frodo in Lord of the Rings:

"I went into this room and there were a lot of stage directions and no lines. We didn’t have any lines to say, really, it was just like finding the ring and you were like supposed to go and open the thing and there’s a ring there and… I didn’t really do it. I didn’t understand because there were no lines so I just walked up, opened the box casually and grabbed the ring and said: ‘Was that good?’ Peter Jackson literally just had his head in his hands. Then I had a scene with lines and I didn’t have an accent – everyone had a British accent – and I didn’t do an accent for it. And he turned to me and said: ‘You are the worst actor that I have ever seen. Did anyone tell you you’re supposed to have an accent?’ And I was like: ‘No…’ and he said: ‘Fire your agents.’"

A tale I saw

Arbitrary and Unnecessary by Daniel Piper

A tale I wrote

“Would you rather fly like a bird or breathe underwater like a shark?” asked the wise, old wizard.

“Fly like a bird, obviously,” I replied.

“Very good,” he said as wings appeared on my back.

“Next question. Would you rather watch your parents have sex every day or join in just the once?”

“I don’t want to play anymore.”

“ANSWER THE QUESTION!” he yelled, aggressively pointing his wand in my face.

“I…I guess I’d join in just the once…”

“Very good,” he said as my dad beckoned me to his bedroom..

A tail I like

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