Greetings Beloved Friends,
May this email find you peaceful, content, and blissful.
Here is the second email of the week that I promised to send you. It contains the transcript for the last talk: The Power of Generosity and Purpose. This talk defines generosity, service, and talks about how to find your life's purpose. It also explains why living our purpose brings us ecstatic joy.
Looking forward to seeing you all at our final class for the Mindfulness Fundamentals course on Tuesday, August 28th at 6:30 PM at Burnhaven Library.
May love and wisdom protect and guide you.
Best wishes,
Freeman
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Missed a Class? Need to Review a Talk?
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Class Eleven Talk: The Power of Generosity and Purpose
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There once was a woman who went by the name Peace Pilgrim. She had a seriously ill friend who was too ill to drive. This friend asked her if she would drive her to her sisters’ house where she would get a few weeks of bed rest. She added, “Peace, I wish you could stay with me for awhile – my older sister is so domineering. I just dread being alone with her.” Peace agreed to drive her there and stay with her for the first few days to help her get settled.
At the sister’s house, the sister took one look at Peace Pilgrim with her lettered tunic reading “Peace Pilgrim” and ordered her out of the house. However, it was late at night, and she relented, saying, “Not tonight, you may sleep on the sofa tonight, but the first thing in the morning you must leave!”
The sister ushered her sick sister upstairs to bed and they both vanished for the night. Peace was left alone on the first floor. The situation was worse than she had expected it to be. She wanted to help her friend by staying, but how could she do so against her older sisters’ insistence that she leave?
Peace Pilgrim looked for a way to share her abundance and serve the older sister. Finding a mountain of dirty dishes and no dishwasher in the kitchen, she spent several hours washing all of the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen before going to bed.
The next morning, the older sister was in tears as she asked Peace Pilgrim to stay. She said, “Of course, you understand I was so tired last night I didn’t know what I was saying.” Peace Pilgrim remained, and they had a wonderful time together for several days. Her generosity had opened the door to creating peace, harmony, and joy between them all.
Talk Overview
In this talk, you will learn how to be joyful. The key to happiness is to serve others from loving intentions.
Therefore, this talk defines generosity and show how it is synonymous with service. We explain how service aligns us with universal laws and connects us with our true self of boundless love. Connected with our true self, we experience much joy.
You will then learn how to find your special purpose or calling in the world, and some tips on how skillfully implement to let go of ego and embrace your inner love.
Defining Generosity
The New Oxford American Dictionary defines “generous” to mean giving more than what is necessary or expected. This idea of giving more than what is necessary or expected has a glorious, uplifting sense of abundance to it.
Only those of us with spiritual abundance can give more than what is necessary or expected. Through our spiritual abundance, we can offer silent blessings, kind words, a listening ear, a sincere smile, a warm hug, our time, attention, energy, and material resources to those in need. Through our inner abundance, we can respond to hostility with kindness and compassion, and thereby generously give more than what is necessary or expected.
All of these acts of generosity, are also acts of service for others. Therefore, another helpful way to define generosity is as “any act of service done with kind and loving intentions.”
Indirect and Direct Service
We can also make distinctions between two kinds of service: indirect and direct.
Indirect service renounces harming others. Indirect service blesses others with the freedom to live authentically, unmolested by our thoughts, words, and deeds. In our last class, we explored indirect service through a universally-applicable reinterpretation of the Ten Commandments. Life calls on all of us to serve life indirectly by renouncing harm to all life. This is a calling we all share.
In this class, we explore direct service which actively benefits others by relieving their suffering or enriching their lives in some way. When Peace Pilgrim did the dishes in our earlier story, that was direct service. Where we are all called to do indirect service, each one of us has a unique calling or “purpose” to fulfill this lifetime.
When we speak of generosity and direct service, it is wise to remember that we speak with a very broad understanding of the many and various ways we can serve others.
Service can include:
• Kind thoughts, wishes, and energies offered through a silent blessing, a sincere smile, or a patient and listening ear.
• The gift of your mindful presence, that allows others to feel heard, understood, appreciated, and accepted for who they are right now.
• Kind words of praise, love, and affirmation.
• Acts of service, such as helping a friend move from house to house, babysitting a relative’s kids, or taking soup to a sick friend. Many of us have careers that serve, enrich, and benefit the lives of others.
• The gift of material possessions such as food, shelter, clothing, money, and so on to help someone in need.
• The gift of consensual touch. A warm hug, an arm around a friend, holding hands, or a nice backrub.
There are millions of ways to be generous. All generosity, no matter how small, when offered from loving intentions, serves you and all life. Because generosity flows from inner spiritual abundance, we can always give, even when we don’t have a dime to our name. Peace Pilgrim was a penniless pauper, and yet her acts of generosity touched countless lives. Here is another example of her generosity and service towards a boy lost in delusion.
Generosity Heals
A strong, hulking teenage boy known for being violent, wanted to go for a hike. He wouldn’t go by himself because he feared he might break a leg, but everyone feared being around him. They knew he suffered from erratic violent outbursts and that he had severely injured and hospitalized his mother.
Peace Pilgrim knew his story and the concerns of those around him. Still, she only sees the good in people, which makes her fearless, so she volunteered to hike with him. The hike went well until a thunderstorm started. This frightened the boy, and triggered an egoic reaction. As Peace Pilgrim recounts it:
Suddenly he went off the beam and came for me, hitting at me. I didn’t run away although I guess I could have – he had a heavy pack on his back. But even while he was hitting me I could only feel the deepest compassion toward him. How terrible to be so psychologically sick that you would be able to hit a defenseless old woman! I bathed his hatred with love even while he hit me. As a result the hitting stopped.
He said, “You didn’t hit back! Mother always hits back.”
Through Peace Pilgrims spiritual abundance, she was able to generously respond to his violence with unconditional love and compassion. This kept her not only calm and unafraid during the attack, it also touched the good in him. He experienced a deep remorse and regret for hitting her. He saw clearly for the first time in his life how destructive and ugly his violence was. This clear seeing caused a permanent shift in his behavior. Peace Pilgrim concluded her story with these words:
What are a few bruises on my body in comparison with the transformation of a human life? To make a long story short he was never violent again. He is a useful person in this world again.
Peace Pilgrim generously offered energetic kindness and compassion to the boy while he physically attacked her. This is a clear example of “giving more than what is necessary or expected.” Her generosity helped heal him and may have been one of the most influential gifts he ever received.
Agape Arsenal Technique: The Gift of Presence
This brings us to this talk’s agape arsenal technique: The Gift of Presence. Bringing an attitude of kind, compassionate, mindfulness to any situation is a gift to all life, including your own. This technique helps you stay calm and non-reactive towards people going through an egoic storm, and helps them return to their senses.
The next time you are around someone who is lost in a verbal tirade of judgment, jealousy, hatred or other egoic state, become very mindful, calm, peaceful, relaxed, still, and accepting of what is happening. With intense mindfulness, anchor all of your awareness on them and what they are saying both verbally and nonverbally. Neither resist nor support what they are saying through verbal communication or nonverbal sounds (like “uh-hu”) or gestures (like head-nodding). To do that would energize or validate their egoic thoughts.
By giving them your full, peaceful, calm attention, you give them the freedom they need to speak their mind. You not only listen deeply to what they say, but you do so while embodying peace and tranquility. You may even do as Peace Pilgrim did, by offering them silent, loving blessings or energy from the heart space.
Such loving mindfulness often helps a person’s egoic storm pass more quickly and allows the person to come back to their senses sooner. At times, it helps them hear the falsehood in their own story. In this way our loving mindfulness can soothe, comfort, and heal others.
Giving The Gift of Presence benefits all situations where you listen and interact with others. It prevents you from becoming reactive to their egoic reactivity. It keeps you focused on the person and their communications. It keeps you grounded in love and compassion. It keeps you on the lookout for delusional thoughts in your mind, and in the minds of those around you.
Here is a summary of The Gift of Presence. When engaged in a conversation with someone, become very mindful of the present moment. Calmly and nonjudgmentally notice any and all delusions spoken. Show neither resistance nor agreement with anything they say. Allow the person to fully speak their mind while bathing them in energetic love or silent blessings.
Some people on the receiving end of this technique find it unnerving. Don’t be surprised if you get some unusual responses. They may stop talking, give you a questioning look, ask what you are doing, or attack you for being unsympathetic. Whatever they do, remain calm. Honestly explain yourself with something like, “I can see this is very important to you so I’m trying to listen very closely and understand what you are saying. Please, continue.”
This technique can also be unnerving for the person doing it. The habit pattern to agree or disagree with who you are listening to can be very strong and challenging to ignore. You may have to try this technique several times before you can do it successfully. Keep practicing it until you can do it, then experience its power to serve all life.
Generosity Flows from Love
All wisdom traditions promote generosity and service. Peace Pilgrim wrote, “The secret of life is being of service.” Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than receive.” [Acts 20:35, ESV] The Buddha encouraged everyone to start their spiritual journey by practicing generosity. Why is generosity and service so fundamental to our practice?
Service is a universal law. When we look at how the material world works, we see it everywhere. Billions of bacteria throughout out body freely serve us by providing us nutrients, bolstering our immune system, and keeping sickness at bay. The rivers and lakes freely give of their waters that all animals may stay hydrated. The plants freely give of their leaves, fruits, and roots that all animals may be nourished. We are interconnected because we are interdependent on each other. Thus, when all life serves each other, all life thrives.
When we live according to this universal law of service, we experience abundant joy. Freely giving from loving intentions feels extremely pleasant because it connects us to our true self of unconditional love.
Here is how generous service connects us with all four kinds of our inner love.
Kindness wishes for others to be happy. When we generously serve others, we help them be happy and we connect with our own kindness.
Compassion wishes others to be free of their suffering. When we serve others by renouncing harmful actions or by taking action to alleviate their suffering, we lessen their suffering and we connect with our own compassion.
Peace gives others the freedom to have their own journey, make their own mistakes, and connect with their own inner wisdom. When we serve others by giving them their freedom, we generously give them the space and support they need to mature, develop, and grow according to their own unique way, and we connect with our own inner peace.
Sympathetic joy celebrates the successes, skillfulness, and inner beauty of others. When we generously serve others by helping make them happy, by alleviating their suffering, or by giving them their freedom, we help them be happy, successful, and skillful. Their joy is our joy. Seeing them happy, we connect with our own inner joy.
True generosity flows from our abundant spiritual wealth. The joy we feel from being generous, is the joy we get from connecting with own inner wellspring of love. The more generous we are, the more joy we feel, and the more we live from our true self of unconditional love. That is why all wisdom traditions sing the praises of generosity and service.
Your Purpose
As was said, all of us are called to do indirect service, the service of renouncing harm to all life. That is a purpose that we all share that we discussed last week.
In addition, we are all called to directly serve life in a unique and special way. Peace Pilgrim wrote, “…every one of us has a special place in the Life Pattern, and no two people have exactly the same part to play in God’s plan. There is a guidance which comes from within to all who will listen. Through this guidance each one will feel drawn to some part in the scheme of things.”
Peace Pilgrim had a very interesting purpose. She fearlessly walked tens of thousands of miles throughout the United States, Canada, and Mexico sharing her message of peace with whoever she met. She promoted peace between nations, within nations, within organizations and communities, within relationship, and also taught people how to connect with their inner peace. She spoke to people on the streets, reporters from various media outlets, elected officials, classrooms of students, and anyone else who was up for it.
During the 28 years of her pilgrimage, she had no organizational backing, carried no money, no food, and not much more than the clothes on her back. Remarkably, she never asked others for food or shelter. Instead, she fasted until people offered her food, and she slept outside unless someone offered her shelter. Despite her pilgrimage rules, she thrived and continued her pilgrimage for 28 years.
If you want to learn more about Peace Pilgrim and her teachings, I encourage you to download or order a free copy of her book at the website, PeacePilgrim.org. I consider her to be one of my primary teachers and I can’t recommend her enough.
Although Peace Pilgrim’s life sounds difficult, she said of her pilgrimage, “I do my work easily and joyously. I feel beauty all around me and I see beauty in everyone I meet, for I see God in everything. I recognize my part in the Life Pattern and I find harmony through gladly and joyously living it. I recognize my oneness with all mankind and my oneness with God. My happiness overflows in loving and giving toward everyone and everything.” This is the joy we can all have when we live the purpose we are called to do.
The Three Characteristics of Your Purpose
To find our unique purpose in life, it is helpful to know the three characteristics that help define, and point us towards, our purpose.
1. First, your calling will do no harm. It will not cause you to directly or indirectly harm yourself, other people, other beings, or the ecosystems of our planet. This means you won’t be manufacturing or selling weapons, illicit drugs, or alcohol; fighting in a war; being an assassin; or engaged in practices that mistreat or kill animals or that poison the land, water, or air.
2. Secondly, your calling will directly serve, benefit, and enrich some life form in some way. You will be helping people, animals, or wild spaces to thrive. This goes above and beyond not harming, to positively enriching the lives of others.
3. Thirdly, you will find much ease and joy in your service. Although your calling may be your career and you make a living from it, you will find it so enjoyable that you would do it for free. It is common that your calling allows you to use your special skills, knowledge, talents, interests, and hobbies to benefit and enrich the lives of others.
Use Right Intentions to Find the Joy
Now, let’s say you do something that does no harm and serves others, but you find no joy in it. You may be doing the right calling with the wrong intentions.
If you do the work for money, fame, prestige, to make your enemies envious, or for other egoic reasons, you will derive no joy from it. You need your intentions to come from a place of kindness and compassion for those who you serve. Remember those kind and loving intentions to help you connect with your loving joy.
But maybe you have loving intentions, are serving others, and doing no harm, but you still aren’t feeling the joy. That may signal that you are not doing your true inner calling and purpose.
Finding Your Purpose: Receptive Silence, Meditation, and Journaling
How do we find know our calling? Here are some words of advice from Peace Pilgrim:
“When you come into this world your jobs in the divine plan are there. They just need to be realized and lived. If you do not yet know where you fit, I suggest that you try seeking it in receptive silence. I used to walk amid the beauty of nature, just receptive and silent, and wonderful insights would come to me.”
We practice a lot of receptive silence during our meditations. Before a breath or body sensation meditation, you can drop an intention, such as, “May this meditation give me clarity on what my purpose or purposes are right now.” Then do your meditation. Afterwards journal whatever thoughts come to you on what your purpose is.
Be patient with the process. It may not come that day, that week, or that month. But eventually something that fits the three characteristics mentioned above will come along. It will excite, energize, and make you enthusiastic. Start making it happen and see where it goes.
Finding Your Purpose: Act on Your Skillful Intentions
If that does not work for you, Peace Pilgrim gives us yet another way to ease into knowing our calling. She explains it like this:
“You begin to do your part in the Life Pattern by doing all of the good things you feel motivated towards, even though they are just little good things at first. You give these priorities in your life over all the superficial things that customarily clutter human lives.”
In this way, we enter ever situation we find ourselves in with an intention to serve and help others. As we go about serving others, we find where our skills and interest lie in this arena of life. Again, as clarity arises, we put more time and energy into those activities that feel meaningful and purposeful. We remain open to opportunities and simply see where it goes.
Ignore Your Egoic Aversion
The ego often discourages us from listening to this inner calling. It may tell us, “That’s too hard,” “You can’t do that,” “There’s no money in it,” or some similar storyline. Be on the lookout for this, as it will distract you from your higher calling. Peace Pilgrim has met many of these people along her travels. She has this to say about them:
“There are those who know and do not do. This is very sad. In this materialistic age we have such a false criterion by which to measure success. We measure it in terms of dollars, in terms of material things. But happiness and inner peace do not lie in that direction. If you know but do not do, you are a very unhappy person indeed.”
Do your best. Worry not about the results. Give yourself the freedom to fail and learn from your failures, so that your failures are transformed into valuable teaching moments. Each step along the way will make the path clearer and give you the information you need to take the next step.
The Dynamic Nature of Your Unique Purpose
One more thing to keep in mind about our purpose. Your purpose is not only unique, but it may also be dynamic and changing. You may have one or several purposes. These purposes may also change throughout your life.
For example, many of us are called to be parents and raise a family. But this important calling may not be our only calling. Once our kids are grown up, another calling may beckon to us. Thus, don’t get too rigid in thinking that your purpose is limited to one thing at a time, or that your purpose cannot change throughout your life. Allow your purpose to be fluid, dynamic, and changing.
Mindfulness Mission
Before we summarize this talk, let’s discuss your mindfulness mission for the coming week.
1. First, continue your daily meditation practice. This week you will use the guided sensation meditation that can be found on the Guided Meditation page at BoundlessLoveProject.org. We have a 5, 6, 7, and 8 minute option. If you are up for it, add one more minute to your daily meditation this week.
2. Continue to review your slogans daily and use them to set healthy intentions for the day. Be sure to review the “May I love myself no matter what” slogan daily. When you review it, set the strong intention to treat yourself only with love, kindness, and compassion during the entire day. This means you will not believe or take to be true any cruel or judgmental thoughts directed at yourself. Instead you will only acknowledge thoughts to yourself that are kind and loving, and that use a calm, patient voice.
3. Notice all the ways that you serve and benefit others. Then offer those services from kindness, compassion, and other loving intentions. As you go through your day, ask yourself, “How is this an act of love? Who or what am I serving?” Notice when you are serving with loving intentions and when those intentions are unskillful or mixed. Notice the difference in how it feels to serve with loving intentions as opposed to egoic ones.
Talk Summary
We have all been blessed with inner spiritual abundance that we pull from to generously serve others. Our generosity connects us with all four forms of our inner love, which is our true self.
Through our generosity, we serve all life. All of us are called to generously serve life indirectly by renouncing all harmful thoughts, words, and deeds.
In addition, we are all called to a unique purpose that directly serves life. This unique purpose harms no one, serves some form of life, and brings us much peace and joy. We can find our inner and higher purpose through the reflective silence found during our meditation practice, quiet walks in nature, and by doing all of the skillful things that we think of doing.
I end tonight with a quote from Peace Pilgrim:
“Forget yourself, and concentrate on being of service as much as you can in this world, and then, having lost your lower self in a cause greater than yourself, you will find your higher self: your real self.”
Let’s breathe.
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