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Oh hello there,
It's been ages and ages and I wanted to send you some of my favorite things lately. But first, a brief catch up. Thing one: I'm teaching about wedding photography on Patreon now (if you like learning and asking questions and instructional videos, it might be for you).
Thing two: I've gotten back into illustration in a big way (as you can see above) and occasionally post on my drawing instagram.
Thing three: honestly? My life is mostly just work stuff. I'm currently attempting to catch up on summer wedding editing, recovering from a sinus infection, and filling out a daily questionnaire for myself rating how hard I tried to do things that day, between 1 and 10.
For example, "Did I try my best to eat healthy today?" is a different question from the binary "Did I eat healthy?" because eating two donuts would probably give you a "no" and could be a slippery slope of "I already messed up, might as well go all out and eat an entire baguette" but with my own active question about trying, if I also ate broccoli and overall ate OK that day, I'd get a 6/10. See?
I'm more motivated when I see progress and it's not interesting, but that's my life lately. It's a series of questions asking how hard I've tried and trying to give myself credit.
Maybe that's all life is.
Excerpts from my journal:
On a field trip in 5th grade, a bus full of my peers and I drove past the Chinese restaurant my family always got take-out from. It was far away from our school, on the other side of town, so it was special to me to see something familiar, so far away, and I had this urge to point it out to everyone. I didn’t, but I remember this feeling. Like if I pointed it out, someone else would tell me they liked it, too. And we would become friends. And find out we had more in common. I felt like finding out someone else liked General Tso’s chicken from Main Kwong on Washington St, it would connect our souls.
This feeling comes back sometimes with items I own that I see that other people own, as well. I’ll feel some meaningful connection to people just because I find common ground with kitchen appliances that we both own. With a spark of pride, I’ll view someone’s perfectly tiled, crumb-less kitchen countertop instagram post and think to myself, “that’s my toaster.” As if my counter is also beautiful and crumb-less. As if their taste is mine, too.
Lately, I frequently find myself intentionally disconnecting with the world (and thus, people) because it overwhelms me. The news makes me feel like I should be doing more and everything is ruined. And most social media makes me feel like I should be doing other things. Sometimes just different things. Maybe bigger things. Always prettier things.
More often than not, I can be found on my own in life. Likely, working and listening to yet another book on productivity, science, or meditation. Putting off socializing with people in person, but wishing I were laughing with a friend, like it’s some unattainable goal because I’m “too overwhelmed” to say yes to 1 hour coffee dates.
But deep down, I know I want to connect with people. I want them to let me know when we have things in common. To know that we share some meaningful, deep, mirrored beliefs. That we were made of the same earth and breathe the same air and drink the same water. I want people to let me know that our lives have overlapped by some strike of fate and that we were destined to know each other. And if you’re like me, it just takes three words.
“That’s my toaster.”
I hope you are happy, and if not happy, at least content.
xoxo
Nessa
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THINGS I'VE FOUND AROUND THE INTERNET
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FOR CHINESE FOOD
Incredibly relevant to journal entry is this incredible instagram feed. It's a couple who goes around Australia, visiting and photographing Chinese restaurants in rural and suburban areas. And I love them.
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FOR ART
The creamy pastel color palette that works it's way into all photos taken by Australian photographer Ben Thomas is everything. It feels reminiscent of memories I don't have. See, I always remember trips and vacations from childhood being much more grand than they were. And yeah. His photos are a bit like that.
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FOR YOUR MOUTH
If I'm being honest with you (and myself) I literally only remember that I've bought bananas when they have more freckles than Anne Shirley Cuthbert (tell me you're a fan and that's not lost on you).
In an alternative universe, some version of me has time to make banana nut bread, but it's busy season, so these SUPER easy, 2 ingredient oatmeal cookies are filling and doing me favors.
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FOR STATIONARY LOVERS
I'm a noteboard hoarder. I love planning and having new notebooks for new projects, which always get abandoned for the ease of digital organization. For example, I've been using the app "Day One" for journaling for the past 6 years and I've bought at least 4 notebooks for that purpose in those years that have since been torn up for shopping lists.
But poking around on this site made me want to give up my journaling app and pick up a pen again. All the designs are oh so lovely.
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