You always remember the funniest details of important moments. I was a freshman at NYU when Anita Hill testified before Congress about Clarence Thomas. I was working at a bookstore downtown after school, and here's the funny part: A cute, lanky/moody guy who was in the new CKOne ads was working alongside me that day. I remember listening to Anita testifying as I stocked the books and couldn't believe what I was hearing. She wasn't believed. She was dismissed. She was vilified. That day, we all lost.
It feels like history could repeat itself with Christine Blasey Ford. She is going head-to-head with someone who refuses to acknowledge her existence, let alone her right to be heard. The cards feel stacked against Dr. Ford as she prepares to speak to a panel of mostly older, white men, but it can't happen again.
Everyone's voices matter. Women's voices matter. And when you don't have women's perspective in the room, those voices (no matter how loud they are) won't be heard. Sure, the male senators can listen to Dr. Ford, but if they haven't been a 15-year-old girl (or any girl, really) at a party with stumbling drunk men, they'll never understand her fear—or the lifelong repercussions.
I understand why Dr. Ford remembers that night 36 years ago—even if no one else does. They wouldn't remember—it wasn't traumatic for them. It didn't impact their lives.
But I remember keg parties where I had to escape dark rooms with drunk boys. Don't you?
We've spent an entire year hearing bone-chilling story after bone-chilling story from women who froze in the face the assault. We're no longer calling their bluff; we're believing them. In order to start believing people and getting to the truth, we need to start listening. And we need people in charge who will not only listen but know what it feels like to freeze.
We need women like Alessandra Biaggi, who is about to take her own seat at the table and was candid about her sexual assault. We need Sol Flores, who introduced herself to the people of Illinois' 4th Congressional District by opening up about her childhood sexual abuse. We need you.
This is a moment of accountability. But also a wake up call that we still have so much work to do to be on equal footing.
XOXO
— A.
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IN OTHER BADASS BABES NEWS...
HOW MARVELOUS
ICYMI: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel totally owned this week's Emmy Awards, walking away with trophies for best comedy, lead actress, supporting actress, writing, and directing. It was the first time a woman picked up back-to-back awards for writing and directing — you go, Amy Sherman-Palladino! And this sweep is flipping the script about how we view women-led series. Or, as Refinery29 puts it:
"Series about women that lack any kind of corresponding dark edge or revolutionary narrative have traditionally been written off as weightless confections not worthy of serious awards show consideration. [...] That is what makes Maisel so special — it is a confection, it is sunny, it is young, it didn't have the burden of changing the world, and it still went home with a truckload of Emmys."
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS
Can we give it up for the Badass Babes who ran in the primaries this year?! These women are making history.
No, really: A total of 234 women have won Democratic and Republican House nominations this year, which is an all-time high. These women are tired of the old, crusty forms of power, saw what needed to change, and acted on it. And people are listening. People are finally starting to see that we need bright visionaries with new perspectives.
It doesn't matter if you lean left or right, we need women on both sides fighting for their tribes. Because when we have one woman — or 234 women — in the driver's seat, we all win. Next stop: The White House.
DO WE STILL NEED MURPHY BROWN?
I'd be willing to bet most Badass Babes barely know about Murphy Brown. To me, she lit the way for a strong, uncompromising journalist to make a Big Life for herself — but TBH I wasn't into the handwringing about whether or not she should have a baby that made the show famous. I didn't want to think about the sacrifices strong women have to make.
But just like Roseanne and Will & Grace, they're bringing Murphy Brown back and it feels so...exhausting. It feels like every GenXer in Hollywood wants their 20-something icons to succeed in this new landscape, but they just seem outdated and slow.
I hate the idea of revisiting your greatest hits — no matter how great they are. And this holds true in every part of life. Why keep your eye on the past when you can keep movng forward? Let's see new journalists who have to make a living on $50 essays that divulge their most embarrassing secret and have their feeds full of #Ads for diet tea. Let's see the women I know who are obsessing about how they can honor their ambitions at work and have a family but aren't waiting until the 11th hour to figure it out. Or better yet, let's see the woman who has the hustle, family, and career, and is embracing the mess (and not like in the new Amy Poehler sitcom "I Feel Bad". Sorry Amy, but I don't feel bad and I don't want anyone else to, either.)
Pssst... wouldn't it be great to see the Big Life on TV? Call me. I have ideas.
BTW: This newsletter started from a series of conversations at my dinner table (dinner may be overselling...it was fancy frozen pizza and many bottles of rosé). Each dinner was a group of about 6 or so, friends of a friend of a friend, who came together to trade notes, offer support and share insider secrets. I called them the Badass Babes because they were the kind of girls anyone would want to be—confident, rule breaking, game changing. The conversations were so revelatory that I wanted to broaden the sisterhood and connect with young women everywhere. And so here we are. So glad you could join us!
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