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This most critical factor of resilience -- connection -- is something we can help to create both for ourselves and others. Start close to home (or better yet, at home) by learning how to be a better listener and practicing the skill regularly.

Open, attentive, non-judgmental listening to others makes them feel seen and heard and increases feelings of connection -- for both the person speaking and the listener. Take the skill into your community: whether that’s at work, school, or your neighborhood and practice the art of really listening to others, especially when you don’t agree. When others are curious about what you’re doing, pass the skills along to them. It can be contagious in a great way; pretty soon, you’ll probably notice more people in your life listening to you as well.

In your efforts to listen more, you might notice that people talk about the more day-to-day aspects of their lives but may hesitate to talk about more difficult topics. That’s okay, you’re still fostering stronger relationships. Connecting with others in a meaningful way doesn’t mean that you’re talking about difficult or more painful topics all the time. Ideally, connection should include a mix of everyday topics, celebration, laughing, sadness, shared frustration, remembering, planning, giving help, receiving help, and more difficult topics when they arise.

What’s most important is that you create safety in the relationship and let the other person know that if they want to talk about something difficult, you are there to listen and offer unconditional support. If you’re part of an organization, company, school or other community group you can also
use tools and activities to help members connect more deeply with one another and reach out when they need support.

We have a lot of challenges to remove the root causes of trauma in our society. It can feel overwhelming sometimes because the problems are real, and deeply-rooted. By turning our attention to building resilience and connection in our own lives and in our communities we can be happier, healthier, and continue that work together.
Resources:
If you are worried that a friend or loved one may be struggling with something more serious visit www.SuicideIsPreventable.org to learn the warning signs of suicide, how to have a conversation, and where to turn for help. If you observe one or more of these signs, especially if the behavior is new, has increased, or seems related to a painful event, loss, or change, step in or speak up.

If you are feeling suicidal (or if you are concerned about someone), there is help available right now. Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text EMM to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling.
The Each Mind Matters Insider Newsletter is a monthly newsletter created specifically for service providers. It includes information about relevant resources, upcoming events, and opportunities for providers to get involved in California's Mental Health Movement.

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